Judge, 1917-08-11 · page 7 of 28
Judge — August 11, 1917 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three distinct humor pieces rather than political cartoons: **"Rocks, Money and Growth"**: An essay-length argument promoting Liberty Bonds (WWI-era U.S. war bonds) as investments. The metaphor compares money to coral polyps—individually small, but cumulatively powerful when invested productively rather than hidden away. This is wartime propaganda dressed as financial advice. **"The Probable Reason"**: A rural dialect joke about Mr. Gap Johnson of Arkansas. His fourteen children beat up the Presiding Elder (a church official), mistaking him for their father in the dark. The humor relies on stereotypes about rural poverty, large families, and physical violence as entertainment—typical of Judge's condescending urban perspective on rural America. **Military Jokes**: Brief exchange jokes about a soldier's regiment service, emphasizing the absurdity of military protocol. The overall tone reflects early 20th-century American magazine humor: promoting war bonds, stereotyping rural people as violent and ignorant, and mocking military formality.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
XUM ON THE PICKET LINE ROCKS, MONEY AND GROWTH OCKS are among the few products of nature which are not confirmed and persistent growers. Rocks are’ all right in their way, being chiefly useful as foundations on which to build something else. Rock foundations alone, however, are neither beautiful nor useful, except as swimming pools. In fact, anybody who essayed to set up housekeeping in a rock foundation would soon find himself seized with a complication of rheumatism, neuritis, toothache, chilblains and offended neighbors. In some sections of the country, the slang for money is “rocks,” the idea being that moncy’s chief value isas a founda- tion, and that when it is so used, it becomes a benefit to its owner and the community. Money hidden up behind the clock or under the mattress, for example, has only a hypothetical value. It is earning nothing and helping nobody; and besides, the house may burn down or a horse may get in and eat the mattress. Money invested, let us say, in a Liberty Bond, is working for the nation and yourself. It is the foundation of something bigger. The nation won't burn down, nor will anything eat it up. In twenty years the money will double itself, which is more than it could do if it were under the mat- tress. It may scem like a slow process; but the Bermuda Islands are composed of bodies of coral polyps piled on each other. One hundred dollars, if properly used as a foundation, can do more work than a million coral polyps.—K. L. Roberts. The Probable Reason “GORTER FUNNY that your fourteen children should have hopped onto the Presiding Elder as he came around the corner of the house in the dusk of the evening, and given him such a beating,” remarked a neighbor. “I don’t see anything pertickerly funny about it,” replied Mr. Gap Johnson, of Rumpus Ridge, Ark. ‘I reckon it was perfectly natural. I’d told ’em a spell before that I couldn’t afford to take ’em to the circus next week. They prob'ly mistook him for me.” The Major—How long have you been in the regiment? Pric. Grogan—Wan week, sor—but | fought in the Spanish war. The Major—And did you salute with a pipe in your mouth in "98? Prio. Grogan—No, sor, | wasn't smokin’ thin,