Judge, 1917-07-07 · page 8 of 27
Judge — July 7, 1917 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains domestic humor satirizing early 20th-century American life, likely WWI-era based on "After the war!" references. **Main cartoons:** Three illustrated vignettes mock middle-class aspirations and gender dynamics. One shows a man pitching labor-saving ideas to his wife (laundries, vacuum cleaners replacing servants). Another depicts a couple discussing motor cars versus bathtubs, with rural characters boasting about their township's car-to-bathtub ratio—satire of rural one-upmanship and consumerism disconnected from actual wealth. **"Patent Society Column":** A satirical society gossip section mocking wealthy pretense. It describes the Does' "elaborate" dinner party, then parenthetically notes they fought over expenses until 4 AM and she threw a Sèvres plate. Similar deflating details follow about Miss Maple's trip and Mr. Scadds' second-hand limousine bought on installment. **The satire's point:** Exposing the gap between appearances and reality—the performative nature of middle and upper-class social life masking financial strain, marital discord, and actual modest circumstances.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
rather timidly, as he noted his wife nodding her approval of Henry’ Henry, heatedl the doity woik! All the woik will be done by arguments. “The housewoik?"” repeated “You mean doity the laun- dries, the vacuum cleaners, the window mai the will woik for and no more bles——” “What? troubles? witz joyfully. have to mone “By goll; I didn to a city school, but I kin ee them fella jas spelling ; but by heck! If those scientifi: city fellas kin grow carrots that size, they got us beat a mile.” war! “But how time for children, if they got to woik?" weakly protested Markowitz. “Oh, that’s a cinch! into the dining room. “The: ers do in New York—get a leave of absenc chuckled Henry, following his relatives “I do what married s chool teach- His Deduction “Looks like,” grimly said Mr. Gap Johnson, of Ridge, Ark., who is blessed with numerous shuckless relatives, “that one extra ham or sack of flour at our house makes the whole world kin.” Rumpus A Comparison “T see by the paper,” said Mrs. Gap Johnson, of Rumpus Ridge, Ark., “that there are four motor cars to every bathtub in Kansas.”” “Aw, that’s nuth'n!” filled with local pride. replied her husband, who is always “T'll bet that right now there are ten motor cars to each bathtub yur in Shellback township, and I don’t know of more. than six cars in the town- ship, neither. - A Twilight Song THE dusk has lost its attar; Dark clouds the twilight mar; Yet, sweet, what does it matter, ‘or you are still my star! The vault is one vast hollow Where silence seems supreme; And yet, and yet I follow, For you are still my dream! I follow at love's guiding Until the night be flown; Star, dream, afar abiding, You still, are still my own! Clinton Scollard. trapped for her >” * ., . law!” No true prophet is without His Honor in this country good pay! soivant No more cried Mrs. Marko- And I wouldn't sk Ma ! When will When will that be?” “After the war! replied Henry, delighted at obtaining a powerful ally. will they have * Did Alice marry the fellah her mother “What was the trouble?” “ She couldn't keep her trap shui washers, the chamber- waitresses, regelar hours what There'll be goil trou- soivant that be? SA “ What's the price of this pin shade >” “ Fifteen cents.” “T thought this to be a five-and-ten-cent store.” “Well can’t you count ?”” After the Our Patent Society Column ‘olumns contain only part of the ble zeal we supply the other half, real event [Note—Ondinary society nd tell you With our usual commenda what happens afterwards} R. AND MRS. JOHN DOE entertained a large dinner party at their palatial residence last Thursday evening. followed by bridge. It was one of the most elaborate social events of the season. P. $.—After the guests had gone home, Mr. and Mrs. Doe fought until 4 A. M. over the expense, owing. to the fact t the said Mrs. Doe had consciously dec d her husband as to the c Among other things, Mrs. Doe threw a costly Sévres plate at her husband's head. Miss Birdseye Maple has just returned on the Imperator, from an extensive trip abroad, accompanied by two maid: three chaperons and a Pome jan. P, S.—The maids were coming anyway, the Pomeranian she brought on order from a wealthy dog fancier, and the trip was financed by three maiden aunts who had been saving up for years. Our genial townsman, Mr. J. Applepie Scadds, has a new limou- sine. P. S.—He got it second-hand from a dealer on the verge of bank- ruptcy, and with the combined help of two sons who work in an office is paying for it on the installment plan, price $475. Chesterton Todd. The Man with the Hoe IS WORK is one with rolling drums, His labor now is regal; The brother to the ox becomes \ brother to the eagle. The Captain Prot “What is all that there?” inquired the spirit of “A fellow objects to these submarines being called noise down German ‘pirates.”” “Who is it? “His name is ‘Kidd.’”