Judge, 1917-07-07 · page 6 of 27
Judge — July 7, 1917 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page satirizes a debate between **Max Markowitz** and **Henry Shapiro** about Russia's recent revolution and women's rights. The dialogue mocks Henry's idealistic enthusiasm for Russian liberation, while Markowitz cynically counters that Russian crowds lack education for self-governance. The satire targets American radicals who romanticize the Russian Revolution. Henry champions Russian democracy and women's suffrage, citing how educated Russians know more about American political figures than average Americans. Markowitz responds that Russians are "know-nothings" and "Bolshie-pullers"—suggesting they're ignorant revolutionaries. The illustration shows a woman asking "Does she want a new hat too, Mama?"—likely mocking women's emancipation as superficial materialism. The page reflects **Judge** magazine's conservative skepticism toward both Russian communism and progressive American causes like women's equality.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
9 LOU “ USSIA! That’s a country! That's a hustler! That's R people!” exultingly cried Henry Shapiro, throwing aside the editorial section of a Sunday paper and facing Max Markowitz, his boss and brother-in-law, in the latter’s pinochle library. “What's the joy by you all at once demanded Markowitz, annoyed at being oo interrupted in the middle of a ‘busi- trouble” column. “What's the going down mechula? ness excitement? Is moichandis the or is Kaiser going What's the joy?” flared back Henry, unable to comprehend his brother- in-law’s calmness at the mention of a favorite and stormy topic. Ain't it plenty for you that in couple of minutes. couple of hundred million peoples give their boss the sack and a kick down from the top floor? Ain’t it wonderful how in a couple of months they throw out the whole gang of grafters with titles longer than the Brooklyn Bridge? Them aristocrats was a rotten bunch, what hated the Russian peoples and only loved French champaniers. Yes. The plain soldiers and workingmen (made them fancy fakers look for jobs or sell junk, and for themselves put up a government by themselves and for themselves like my night school teacher said Abe Linker said “Max, it took the Russians a whole lot of time to wake up- because they had no schools and no American alarm clocks. But when they did wake up—Oi didn’t they wake up!—instead of spenc s . tions with kings, monarchies with a limit, or republics with a kitty, they rubbed right into them swell blood-suckers what doped them and robbed them all their li ed up a brand new government with the latest improvements—open news papers, hot and cold speeches and equal suffrage for all the tenants including the janitor’s wife.” “But they ain’t going to last no longer tha grocery store,”’ maintained Markowitz. cynically. Russians are a lot of know-nottings, bustin’-puller: “Know-nottings! Bustin’-pullers!” angrily echoed Henry. “They got more sense in their little finger than what you have in your whole head. Of course by some Russian peoples the multiplication table is a stranger like a pinochle-player by his and a whole lot don’t understand to rea sign no better than a lunch peddler can read ‘NO ADMISSION’ in your shop, but the same time even if they got less in their a dollar bill ina “Them Markowitz and Henry Discuss Russia’s Liberation and Woman’s Emancipation RAB heads, which ain't their fault, they got more feelings in their hearts—" “But if they got noh broke in Markowitz. “Don't worry, Max, they got plenty heads for their gov- ernment,” replied Henry with an air of profound wisdom. “They got crowds educated peoples what used to read stocks of books on the quiet behind their bibles, when they wasn’t allowed by the Tzar’s police. And you know, Max, t telling a feller not to do a thing is the best advertisement for doing it. So a lot of students and even muczhiks would eat up books just like boys over here eat up baseball scores; and the end is that they know more about free governments, and liberty, and democracy than other peoples what got whole libries in their house to match the wall paper. The know all about America from Automats to Democrats and can tell you more about Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Paine and Abraham Linker than peoples from places where even the blind can read. You 1s how can they run a government?” Wee Dorothy —Does she want a new hat too, Mamma ?