Judge, 1917-06-23 · page 11 of 28
Judge — June 23, 1917 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three satirical pieces mocking contemporary attitudes: **"Bugs" (left):** A dialogue ridiculing the popular "germ theory" of disease. One speaker argues germs cause illness because they're *present* at disease sites, while the other uses logical analogies (smoke doesn't start fires; blossoms don't grow leaves) to expose this faulty reasoning. The satire targets public credulity about emerging bacteriology—people accepting germ theory as absolute truth despite weak causal logic. **"A Hypothesis" (top right):** A sentimental poem about beauty persisting through time, likely written sincerely rather than satirically. **Bottom cartoons:** Two brief joke pieces. "The Flower of Knighthood Gone to Seed" mocks a young woman lamenting lost chivalry while her father cynically notes knights now come "from the gas company" (tradesmen, not nobility). The bar scene joke plays on "Captain Zink" being a dentist—making the military rank absurd. The page collectively satirizes scientific pretension, romantic nostalgia, and social pretense circa the early 20th century.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
IF THE MAYFLOWER HAD SAILED TODAY BUGS By TOD CHENEVIX “VJONDERFUL, isn’t it, how the germ theory has revolu- tionized our ideas?” “Righto! *Revolutionized’ is the word. It has done it. “Yes. No more so-called ‘cold in the head,’ ‘sore throat,’ ‘bronchial cough,’ ‘complaints from weather exposure.’ That is all past. The laboratory shows the exact cause. In every case it is a specific microbe that starts the troubl “Did you say ‘starts’? How do you know the microbe starts it?” “Know? Because the microbe is there, man, and it is found to be there.” “So is smoke at a fire, but it did not start the fire. The fire started the smoke. So is a blossom on the plant, but it did not grow the leaves. So is water in the pipes, but it did not install the plumbing. So is hair on our heads, but it did not provide the scalp for it. So is a fat man—" “Oh, let up! You are talking nonsense. membrane evidence the presence of germs? show, ” “Yes, yes. But if you will think a moment you will know that the patient was ill before the membrane appeared; before the lungs showed any signs of pathology. The man was sick before there were any germs to discover The germs came later.” “But the germ came, and that is about enough to go by.” “Tt seems to be in your case. You appear to be quite satisfied to go by it regardless of all evidence against it as a cause. You are the sort of man who would call your auto out of commission because the mud had spattered it up. Of course if the car was covered with dust and mud incident to the hard- ship of travel, the engine could not run. Mud must be full of germs. You do remind me of the houscholder in Italy who engaged some workmen to rebuild a wall under water somewhere on his estate. The men failed to arrive at the time they had engaged to come, though promptness was necessary in this case—because it was raining.” aj Doesn’t the throat Weak lungs ‘ ~ Nevertheless Most women believe that the works of the Creator are marvelous, but that, nevertheless, a corset manufacturer can improve on them. A HYPOTHESIS By CLINTON SCOLLARD [ove put me this hypothesis;— “If Sardis and Persepolis, And all they held of beauty, be Whelmed in the Past’s engulfing sea, Is it then lost for aye and aye?” To her I swift made answer, “Nay! For all of loveliness they knew To-day, my sweet, survives in you!” The Flower of Knighthood Gone to Seed The beautiful young thing closed her book. ‘The days of chivalry are past,” she sighed, “the days when knighthood was in flower, the days when kings used to bestow their mantles on their retainers——” “Yes,” said Father, “now we get them from the gas com- Were Sure to Be Mrs. Jones—The paper says that the charges of Company A were terrific. Mr. Jones—I'm not surprised at that: Captain Zink is a dentist. “What's yours?” “Give me a nut sundae.”