ComicBooks.com Register / Loginit's free!

Judge, 1917-06-02 · page 22 of 28

Judge — June 2, 1917 — page 22: what you’re looking at

📖 Open the full issue in the page-flip reader →
Judge — June 2, 1917 — page 22: Judge, 1917-06-02

What you’re looking at

This page is primarily **advertisements and light humor** rather than political satire. The main content includes: **Advertisements**: Blue-jay corn plasters, Carbona cleaning fluid, and Cortez cigars dominate the layout with typical early 20th-century product claims. **Humor pieces**: Brief jokes about misunderstandings ("Too Highbrow" about fishing terminology, "Didn't Deserve It" about grades). **Main feature**: "If Noah Had Missed the Boat," a humorous poem satirizing contemporary American types—politicians, profiteers, pacifists, and women with revealing skirts. The joke: society would be better if certain people didn't exist. It reflects post-WWI skepticism toward politicians and social changes (women's hemlines, pacifism). **Right sidebar**: An advertisement for the World's Salesmanship Congress in Detroit, featuring steel magnate Charles M. Schwab and quoting President Wilson about selling American principles globally. The page reflects 1920s concerns: commercialism, women's changing roles, political corruption, and American exceptionalism.

📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

wa to End a Corn ECIDE now to mas- ter your corn for- ever. Let today’s corn be the last. Blue-jay will free you from the most painful corn. Apply one of these soothing plas- ters tonight. Pain ends. In 48 hours the corn dis- appears. Only Blue-jay gives this insurance. Par- ing is temporary. Harsh liquids are dangerous. Millions of corns are ended the Blue-jay way. Most corns re- quire but one application. An occasional stubborn one, two or three. Try the gentle, sim- ple Blue-jay way tonight. You will never be the victim of corns again. BAUER & BLACK Chicago and New York Makers of Surgical Dressings, ete. Blue-jay Stops Pain—Ends Corns Sold by all druge Also Blue-jay Bunion CARBONA Cleaning Fluid White and fancy colored kid shoes and cloth uppers are not hard to clean if you use Carbona. Ready towear instantly. Carbona cannot explode 15e 25c 50c $1 At all druggists “MADE AT a GARS Zz dinner is going to cost I get nervous.” —Washington Star. Too Highbrow—‘I intend to enjoy some piscatorial diversion tomorrow.” “Oh, professor, why do you want to bother with such highbrow things? Come with us on our fishing party.”—Baltimore American. Didn't Deserve It—“I don’t think I deserve zero on this examination,” said the pupil, as he took his geometry papers. No, I do not cither, John, but that was the lowest I could give you,” said the teacher.—Christian Herald. IF NOAH HAD MISSED THE BOAT Ry DONALD GEORGE The massive gates of circumstance on tiniest hinges turn, How chance has swayed the world’s events from history we learn The weavin, to Scotland saved King Bruce; And een great Rome was spared one day by cackling of a goose Napoleon at Waterloo just missed it by of a spider's web nace, Jent ec. And women chose our Pre because they liked his f But of all things that might have been there's one that gets my goat— I's what a droll world this would be if Noah had missed the boat. CHORUS When T observe some people’s nerve And human nature note, T almost wish I were a fish And Noah had missed the boat The genus homo, as : so many type The man who says “J told you so,” you find him everywhere. The dub who tries to drive a car he can crank, for “prohibish” The fellow w but keeps a private tank, © war-bride snob who talks finance but really isa gink, n with a ballot, fa ng man without a drink, Congressman from Hunky-Dunk who leads the pork bar'l vote— Ml these would in the discard be if Noah had missed the boat. IIL The pacifist f Way-back town, with putty for a spin Who thinks it is enough de to guard Missouri's line— The lady with the pretty kne whose skirt is just a fr The man who sold his stock “by chance” the day there came the leak, The bore who must explain to you just how the war began, The guy that raised the living cost The movie too décolleté with faint costumes remote— Would mere hallucinations be if Noah had missed the boat. CHARLES M. SCHWAB Sweeping On To Better Salesmanship President Wilson, addressing the first World's Salesmanship Congress a year ago, said:— “With the thought that you are Americans who carry liberty and justice and the principles of hu- manity wherever you go, go out and sell goods that will make the world more comfortable and more happy, and convert everyone to the prin- ciples of America.” That is the inspiration—the high ideal—of the second World's Sales- manship Congress, to be held June 10-14 at Detroit, and opened by Charles M. Schwab, one of the world’s master salesm: To foster Better Business, through Better Salesmanship. Forty-five clubs—15,000 individual salesmen. are now permanently enlisted under that banner. They have the guidance of the really big men of American industry. They are thinking of, and working for, Better Business now as never before. The second congress will be a big, concrete exposition of sales methods and improvements in them. It will be intensely practical, immensely valuable. Come to Detroit. Send the coupon now, that accom- modations may be arranged for you. World’s DETROIT Salesmanship |J UNE Congress 10-14 D. M. Barrett, Secretary-Manager, World's Salesmanship Congre: Kresge Bldg., Detroit, Mich. I will attend the Congress. note erst force also | ety ason dow the ¢ oaly of th alot «“y who l mart upor must the i A look they I abou atta add | an ci a fev in th the | chee food less comicbooks,com