Judge, 1917-05-26 · page 30 of 32
Judge — May 26, 1917 — page 30: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page mixes advertisements and satirical short humor pieces typical of Judge magazine: **Main Content:** The page features three brief comic anecdotes poking fun at American life: 1. "Author No Asset" mocks the inflated vanity of authors—a woman refuses to pay extra for an autographed book, quipping she already knows who wrote it anyway. 2. "The Why of the Whereas" satirizes legal bureaucracy. A lawyer explains to his boss why bills are intentionally written in incomprehensible language ("whereas," "wherefore") instead of plain English: if legislators could actually *understand* laws, lawyers would lose their lucrative business as the middlemen who interpret legalese. 3. A brief anecdote where a child's delayed grief confuses his mother—he seems unmoved at dinner when told his father died, then cries later because he didn't realize the father mentioned at dinner was *his* dad. The humor targets American institutions—the literary establishment, legal complexity, and upper-class parenting norms—through everyday situations.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
lome Sensibly Cut-To-Fit si ipped Complete in One Car sii 7 dai Judge at the Government’s Service Judge is glad to be one of lamentation. His mother rushed upstairs with solicitude and sympathy. ‘Nurse says,” he sobbed, “that Paddy has been run over and killed.” “But, dear, I told you that at dinner, you didn’t seem to trouble at all.” but—but I didn’t know you said I-I thought you said daddy Author No Asset—At a local bazar they were offering autographed copies of books of Indianapolis authors. “Here is a very delightful book, suitable for a gift, and autographed by the author. Only $1.30,” said the smiling manager of the booth. “A dollar and a half!” gasped the pros- pective purchaser, a little woman who held her tempted purse close to her breast “Yes, $1.50. The autograph, you know, has an especial value.” Vhy, I can get a copy of that book at a downtown store for $1.”" “Yes, I know you can, but not auto- graphed by the author.” ‘The prospective purchaser's face suddenly took on a look of high wisdom and then she blurted: “Oh, well, I know who wrote it, anyhow.” —Indianapolis News. The Why of the Whereas—Governor Cox of Ohio requested Clerk of the House John R. Cassidy to prepare a bill which he wished to call to the attention of the legis- lature. In time, C who is a former probs judge of Logan county, returned to Cox’s offices and showed him his draft of the measure. Did you ever sit down and try to unravel the verbal yarn balls known as “revised” * YOU believe it is more im- portant to know why ten thousand fail rather than why one man succeeds, read this book. The “Letters of a Self-Made Failure” ran serially for ten weeks in Leslie’s, and were quoted by more than 200 publications. If you sit in “the driver’s seat” or merely plod along beside the wagon, whether you are a suc- cess or think yourself a failure, you will find this book full of hope, help and the right kind of inspiration. Price, $1.00 LESLIE-JUDGE COMPANY 225 Fifth Avenue, New York City FILM FUN for JUNE ROTI STROSS STII ror C it t who Ind ernr deri y intl we Alli tod: It life ical peat —tl Bra the many representative industrial organizations to place itself completely at the service of Govern- statutes? It’s some job, as anybody bu Philadelphia lawyer will admit Jimmie scratched his head. ‘* John,” he said languidly, “I can read every word of this thing—but what in the world does it all mean, anyway? Why don’t you write laws so anybody can understand “em?” “Well, 4 ri tell you,” said the ex-probate judge, “y’ see if laws were written y mind could understand ‘em, we s would starve to death. That's why alarums, excursions, preludes, whereas’s, and whyso's are put in.”—Columbus State inde ing, pers hare the land and ment. The following offer hasbeen made bythe Leslie- Judge Company tothe President, and ac- cepted by him: “In the present situation, as at every other crisis of the past vo years, the columns of Illustrated Weekly News paper — editorial, ne: pictorial and advertising—are at the call of the United States Government for any public ser- vice desired. This offer is both without any charge and without any limit. The same applies to our other two periodicals, Judge and Film Fun. We will feel honored to be given the opportunity to do our part in placing the Government's messages before the people in the six hundred thousand homes reached weekly or monthly by our periodicals.” Journal. Nocturnal Job—*To instill a spirit of brotherly love instea ‘age militarism into the h s of the Germans will be a very hard job,” said a Sacramento fruit grower just back from Germany “The militaristic Germans will misunder- stand the preachers of brotherly love as Wash White misunderstood the missi ‘a “A missionary was sent South to a very godless region of chicken thieves and boozers, and, finding that there was no church, he got permission to use an old henhouse. “He said to an old colored man who was aly loafing around the hotel: “*Washington, you go down bright and early tomorrow morning and clean out that henhouse back of Sinnickson’s barn.” “The old man frowned. “*But sho'ly, pawson, sho'ly,’ he said, ‘yo’ don’ clean out a henhouse in de day- time!""—IWashington Star. THE SMILE BEHIND THE MAN BEHIND THE GUN HE making of @ movie is almost as full of romance and here's many @ off-stage” that never ‘orites informally in the columns of feir chatty stories and the striking atures soon to be released, you'll ind the magazine full of laughter and fun all its own. FILM FUN 10 cents a Copy $1.00 a Year | Published urstie-s0dceco. 225 Fifth Avenue New York FILM FUN J. 5-26 225 Fifth Ave., New York Enclosed find $1. Name .. end FILM FUN for one year to Address . SNAIL ATTA eas NAR le ARN i te RR iliza just d whi dor the the Am fro Gre a plo