Judge, 1917-05-19 · page 9 of 32
Judge — May 19, 1917 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple short humorous pieces typical of Judge's satirical style: **Top cartoon:** Shows a couple in a car near a "To the Poorhouse" sign. The joke satirizes stubborn overconfidence—the man ignores directional signs, insisting he knows the way, leading them toward financial ruin (the poorhouse). **Short comedic pieces below** include: - "His Handicap": A drowning man won't grab a plank because tradition teaches drowning men "grasp at straws"—he's paralyzed by precedent - "Crushed Possibilities": A fat cub reporter's story was killed because he "fell down on it first"—wordplay on his weight - "It Is Said": Brief observation that conversation fashions change seasonally - "Reason Enough": A poem explaining why a man married—she rejected him so thoroughly he had no choice The page satirizes human foolishness: stubbornness, rigid adherence to tradition, incompetence, and absurd logic. The humor relies on wordplay, irony, and exaggerated scenarios typical of early 20th-century American comic magazines.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The eloper (who has a domineering mind) an’t find the plexo button! Something terrible will happen unless I find it.” lt did. As, with trembling fingers, he fumbled through the entire gamut of attach- ments, he forgot to steer, and unluckily ran off the edge of a preci- pice; so that he did not live to learn that plexo Sa massage cream. His Handicap 6CLJELP! help!” cried the man in the water. “‘lamdrowning!”” “Why do you not fling your arms across that large plank which is floating so buoyantly near you?” we asked. “LT can’t!” he teplied. “From my youth up I have been taught that drown- ing men grasp at straws. I cannot go contrary to precedent. Fling me afew straws or I perish!” The Price Eternal vigilance is the price of using any except safety pins. Sure! ‘The man who cannot keep his mind off the cemetery has a lot to worry him. _ TO THE POORHOUS: <_< I'm positive this is the right road Percy, so why waste precious time on sign posts! Crushed Possibilit ONES the cub reporter was fat, but he looked as melancholy as a fat man can when he entered the city editor's office. “Why was my story killed?” he asked. gloomily. “An act of mercy.” said the editor. “You fell down on it first.” It Is Said Fashions in conversation change as in everything else. It is said that many remarks will be worn threadbare during the coming summer. Reason Enough H : DID NOT wed her for her wit Or for the wealth that she possessed, Or. though he was so proud of it, Because he thought her cooking best. He did not wed her for the grace That so enraptured, or because Her face was such a pretty face, Or her book-learning gained applause. He did not wed her for—you see Her favor was so very small And him she mocked outrageously— She would have none of him at all! —Nathan M. Levy.