Judge, 1917-05-19 · page 23 of 32
Judge — May 19, 1917 — page 23: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two distinct elements: a satirical poem and period advertisements. **The Main Cartoon/Poem:** "The Romance of the Inarticulate Ad-Man and the Skeptical Spinster" mocks an advertising copywriter who is articulate in print but tongue-tied around women. He pursues "Dolly," a desirable, talkative woman, by launching a publicity campaign via letter—selling himself as he would a product. The satire targets advertising industry conventions (the "follow-up," emotional appeals, strategic language) applied awkwardly to courtship, and pokes fun at masculine insecurity. The ending punchline—her response asking for "terms" like a C.O.D. delivery—inverts his commercial pitch back on him. **The Secondary Essay:** "A Fifty-Fifty Break" humorously argues that matrimonial news coverage is balanced, and suggests real love stories should be publicized more (with tongue-in-cheek reasoning about unemployed divorce lawyers). **The Advertisements** promoting B.V.D. underwear and Leslie's Travel Bureau are unrelated to the satire and reflect typical 1917 magazine content. The patriotic flag stickers advertisement references WWI context (U.S. entered April 1917).
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
"May 19, 1917 The Romance of the Inarticulate Ad-Man and the Skeptical Spinster Only—(the ad-writer’s view Ink makes him garrulous. Speech, though, is perilous— Girls strike him dumb as a Blue-point. Stylish and flirty, too, Winsome though thirty-two, Dolly has suitors to squander. Ball-room or tennis-court Nine or ten men escort Dolly, where’er she may wander. Dolly's loquacity, Spiced by audacity, First made our silent friend jealous. Love followed rapi Tongue-tied, he vapidly” Left her to rivals more zealous. “Now, though it’s sparking-time,” Groaned he, “I’m marking time. Silence, by gad, will not get her. I can’t talk well, myself— I'll have to sell myself. Just watch me do it by letter. “T'll give the follow-up Words that J swallow up, Phrases I pass up unspoken. “T can sell candy, dates, Collars, and candidates— T'll sell myself, by that token.” With faith implicit, he Planned his publicity, Launched it with strategy ample, Pictured his harried life, Eulogized married life, Offered himself for a sample. Did he succeed in it? Telegram! Read in it— “Dear—I can’t send a denial. Wilt love me less if I Ask you to specify Terms—C. 0. D. or on trial?” —Marsh A Fifty-Fifty Break N the whole, what we read in the contemporancous prints breaks at least fifty-fifty for matrimony. That is good, for whatever makes against matri- mony is against public policy. For ex- ample, if you abolished matrimony, think of all the divorce lawyers in the bread line—and unemployment is the greatest curse mankind ever knew, except ants at picnics and fugacious collar bottons. Matrimony’s even break in the news columns is rather remarkable, too, when you think of it—for successful matrimony isn't news. Anyhow they say it isn’t news, but sometimes we think if they would play up a true story, up-to-date, of real life love-in-a-cottage with bread, cheese and Laura Jean Libbey on the side, we'd stake them to the print paper, even at current Prices, and take chances on the cleanup. _ Let us cite a few matrimonial news items Just_as we happened to run across them Virginia has a new “dry” law under Sliced Oranges with a dash of Abbott's 9 Bites. are 2008. ting and eaafuL. samples of bitters by tal 25 ete ©: W. Abbott & Go. Baltimore, Ma (Adv) MADE. FOR THE BV. D. BEST RETAIL TRADE Pie the habit of look- ing for the B. V. D. Label. A Summer of comfort is worth a few seconds of time. Inour own modernly equipped Cotton Mills at Lexington, N. C., the fabric from which these Loose Fitting B.V. D. Undergarments are made, is woven from specially selected cotton. This assures durability in wear and wash, In our own B.V. D. Factories the garments are skilfully cut, evenly stitched and accurately finished-to fit and to be cool and comfortable all day long. B.V.D, Coat Cut Undershirts and Knee Length Drawers, 50 cents the arment, B.V.D. Closed Crotch Gnion Suits (Pat. U. S. A.) $1.00 the Suit. ReMceey The B.V.D. Company, New York. ’ which appears in the frst and third issues each month, LESLIE’S TRAVEL BUREAU (rier 2ie° information “to. those who" are planning to travel at home ot abroad. Correspondents are requested to state definitely their destination and time at which the proposed trip is to be made. This will facilitate the work of this bureau. Stamps for reply should be enclosed." Address Editor Travel Bureau, LESLIE'S WEEKLY, 225 Fifth Avenue, New York City. PATRIOTIC FLAG STICKERS Show your colors. Flag-seal your letters, packages, menus, circulars, bills, ete. Be for America first, last and always. 1000 Seals, $1.00; 3000 Seals, $2.00; 6000 Seals, $3.60 Actoal colors: red, white and blag. Beautiful stay-stuck stickers. Mone; back if not satisfied. Largest exclusive gummed label plant in the worl creel gictee FENTON LABEL COMPANY, Ninth and Thompson Sts., Phila., Pa.