Judge — May 12, 1917 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“ Y rY BABY! My Preety Baby!” drowsily M hummed Henry Shapiro to himself as Max Marko- witz, his boss and brother-in-law, suddenly entered his office late Saturday morning. “Henry, the season by operas is ady goodbye!” burst out Markowitz sarcastically. “And the season by skoits is just commencing. Suppose you better sing off a few figgers from your ledger instead of mixing up babies with business and cabarets with “Who was by a cabaret?” denied Henry, greatly offended. “Do you think I am a back number? I don’t go to cabarets. I only go the revues!” “Revues!” ” echoed Markowitz mockingly. ‘What kind of craziness is a revue? “A revue, Max, a revue,” authoritatively explained Henry, placing his hands in the armpits of his vest and proudly leaning back in his swivel chair, “i: nd of musical salad made up K up from chickens left over from dinner and comic ope It’s a chain of songs with chorus goils sandwiched in. It show where you are so busy watching the little fine figgers on the stage that you don’t notice the big figgers on the check. It’s where they soive a little to the inside man in half time, and a whole lot of the outside woman in the same time. It’s an old- fashioned Concy Island boi- lesque made over in silk tight By a revue, a husband ge the only chance to rubber at a chorus goil, while his boss, the wife, is rubbering at the high cost of living on the bill of fare. And it is full of more respect- able people than a savings bank and more rm clock owners than in Yonkers. Them serious people come to sce pleasure people, but when they look around they feel like they was THE OTHER FELLOW’S RICHES MARKOWITZ AND HENRY Discuss Midnight Revues and Morning Regrets By LOU Batch—I wonder why so many marriages are failures ! Scratch—I suppose it’s because the bride never gets the best man ! RAB looking in a looking glass. There are more country repre- sentatives by them revues than by Congress in Washington. They’re—” “Enough! Plenty!” broke in Markowitz throwing up his hands in the air. “If you’d know so much about our skoit business like you know about them revues you’d be a useful lining in the office instead of a useless trimming. Henry, I can’t see how a feller on your wages—and you're getting three dollars more than what that cutthroat Katz is paying his bookkeeper— I can’t see how you can afford them expensible revues.” “Oh, ho! that’s notting,” retorted Henry, chuckling. ‘The revue last night costed me so much like it costed you. And you ought to see the souvenirs I brought home—flowers, whi: balloons. You know Joe Dannenburg, what's got a ¢ millinery stores and his wife Sophic, what's a cousin by me and Minnic? Nu, they was by our house last night till. near twelve o'clock, gettin’ drunk on tea with lemon, on account of Russia’s freedom; and Joe and me got so excited that we made up our minds to finish the party by a revue. So the three of us went down the basement from a big Broadway hotel and right away we come in, the he: gives us a reception like we was Russian generals or buyers. Joe had his hand in his pocket. We got a table what looked like extension from the stage; and was so near the tars, that a spicy dancerky kicked a salt-cellar right into the soup, what needed it. About a dozen pretty goils was singing with their feet and a couple of hundred others was watch- ing them, jealous like cats, on account of the better make- “up on the chorus goils’ fac “So the revue goils was pretty?” inquired Markowitz with marked inter “Why is it, Henry—I never can ex- plain it to myself—that so many pretty goils go kicking for a living on the stage, instead of i in the home? “You mean in the kitchen,” corrected Henry, philosophi- cally. “Max, so soon a goil is pretty she gets attentions; and so soon she gets attentions she gets a swell head; and right | | comicbooks.com