Judge, 1917-04-21 · page 12 of 32
Judge — April 21, 1917 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This poem satirizes parental hypocrisy through a boy's perspective. The father encourages roughish, "boyish" behavior—fighting back, being energetic, even dangerous pranks—while the mother worries about propriety and safety. The satire is that the father's philosophy ("boys will be boys") contradicts his actual response: when the boy uses his razor, the father chases him despite having just defended boyish misbehavior moments before. The humor lies in exposing the father's inconsistency: he celebrates masculine wildness in principle but punishes it in practice, particularly when it threatens *his* possessions or safety. The page also contains brief joke exchanges mocking marriage, parental savings accounts, and urban/suburban life—common Judge fare. The advertisements reference wartime concerns (housing, country living) typical of the WWI era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
INCONSISTENT PA By S. E. KISER OMETIMES when I go whoopin’ round and get the house upset Ma says I’m worse than any child she ever heard of yet; She frets because I make the rugs all crooked on the floor, And when I don't hang up my clo’s, why then she frets some more, But pa says to her: “What’s the use of bein’ worried so? It only shows he’s full of life—boys will be boys, you know.” AN When other boys pitch into me and try to bust my face If I fight back ma seems to think the fambly’s in disgrace; She thinks I ought to run away and be too proud to fight, So she can tell the fellows’ mas and let them set things right, But pa says: “Hit ’em back and let them see you've got the sand; Ma never was a boy, you know, so she can’t understand.” Ma thinks I ought to use more soap and hardly speak out loud; If I'd act like a little girl I guess that she’d be proud; She had a nervous break-down once—or purty near, at least, Because I et some powder which was “good for man and beast;”” Pa smiled when he found out, and said: things? I'd hate to think a son of mine was gettin’ angel’s wings.” “Why fret about such The other day, when I was in the bathroom all alone, I got pa’s razor out and tried to whet it on the hone. “Boys will be boys, you know,” ma said when pa was chasin’ me; “Don’t be disturbed; it only shows he has the sand, you see.” I wisht she hadn't said it, though—pa caught me in the hall, And if he ever was a boy it didn’t help at all. The First Misstep “How long after you were married before your wife spoke crossly to you?” “She yelled at me the minute I stepped on the train.” “My goodness! What for?” “Well, you see, I tore off about four yards of it.” “Say, Emma, | don’t feel up to a picnic today, Couldn't we just soak a few sandwiches in lemonade and eat em’ here on the floor.” Flattered Grace—Can you tell her from her photograph? Mabel—Without the slightest difficulty. Dealing in Futures Daddy—We have started a savings account for the new baby. Uncle—Sort of a fresh heir fund, eh? Never Mind C. S.—Don’t you believe that mind controls matter? P. S.—Not some matter. reading Unpreparedness Senator—Do you think we should let slip the dogs of war? Citizen—No, but I suppose we shall continue to let them slip. | amor ioe terres S06 2 ae ee DECEMBER Suburbenite—How | envy Brown and those other office fellows who wisely reside in the city res FOR ShLE ¢ PORE AIR ; “FISHING JUNE Cityman—Phew! I wish I'd a little place in the country like that wise guy Jones. comicbooks.com