Judge — April 7, 1917 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A Spur to Alertness J ! WHY April first should be set aside as a day for the exploitation of human credulity is not definitely known. If your bump of inqui tiveness is swollen and your hunger and thirst after in- formation are irre- pressible you can doubtless find more than a few explan tions in the ency clopedias and the books of facts that fill the reference rooms in your public libraries. But in the end you will know no more than that April fooling is a venerable old custom, practiced all the way from India to Kalamazoo. And that is all the information you need There is something about April fooling more important than information. It is this: On the first of April everybody gets up expecting to be fooled more than once during the day. And nobody ex- pects to get angry. On no other morning out of the whole 365 do we arise with so much sanity in our systems and such a glorious determination in our souls. On no other day of the whole year is man less of a fool than he is on All Fool’s day. The supreme joke is that April-Fool’s day is the one day on which only a fe people act foolish. We go on ludicrous wild goose cha: nd fruitless errands, we grab for vanishing pocketbooks and coins stuck on the under side of the glass, we answer telephone calls with wonderful stupidity; but we don’t take things seri- ously and we don’t get sore. That ability to keep sweet and to re- frain from chronic seriousness Sal a BIA "arm 4 a Saf 5 wo . Ak nas a big April Fool joke if it is to be enjoyed to the fullest. So far as we shall ever be able to demonstrate on this old sphere, most of our seemingly serious errands are fruitless and most of the pocketbooks we risk our rickety old backs for are padded with rags and equipped with wings. What we need most is a great deal of confidence in the wisdom and the good wishes of the Big Boy behind the fence. Sixes and Sevens Nowadays. if you want to put any- thing across over in Germany you casu- ally remark: “*Ludendorff ist’ dafur.”” That's the Hoboken for “Why child—if your mother says you ma * Deputy Attorney General Merton E. Lewis wants the New York State barge canal stocked with fish. Cranky old Izaak Waltons who long since ceased to believe in the canal Santa Claus would be strong for that kind of a stocking. 2 The Rev. Dr. Joseph Silverman says that the Sixth Commandment is not “Thou shalt not kill,” but “Thou shalt not murder.” Unless the gown should strike the jury as uncommonly becoming, it is just as well not to do cither. 2 When you have forgotten how wise and useful and good you are, there may be some incentive for others to make the discovery. Arkansas Democrat. There is such a thing as relying too much on your epitaph and too little on your lungs. * It has been discovered that the less clothing a woman wears the more she must eat and the worse her disposition. One can’t help feeling sorry for Adam. + Nobody ever improved on the first international lawyer's summary of the law of nations: “The woman tempted me, and I did cat.” e Mexico is about to abolish the vice presidency by amending the Constitu- Is Mexican marksmanship de- 2? tion. teriora * Colonel Bryan would declare war by popular vote. First three rounds at the polls, and then the chautauquas for the breakaway? 2 You don’t have to know what “sperr- gebcit” means, but just now you ought to look as if you did. 2 Keenly aware though she was of the high cost of apples, vas glad hers wasn’t storage. 2 The infant John Jacob Astor’s keep costs $72 a day—but of course he isn’t old enough to care for potatoes. comicbooks.com