Judge — April 7, 1917 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Passing the Mustard Tempted to Try—“ Mother Eve wore fig leaves.” “Just so,” responded the modiste. “And I have always thought that some- Id be turned out along those Kansas City Journal. Adornment—“What do you think of the new coins?” “They are too beautiful. It comes hard enough to part with them without learning to cherish them as works of art.” —I’ashing- ton Star. Nothing Saved—‘ Economy is plenti- ful enough.” “Well?” “But is usually applied in one direction to enable somebody to make a splurge in another.”—Aansas City Journal. A Quandary—Nell—Oh, dear, I’m in such a quandary Bdl— i Nedl—Jack promises to stop drinking if I marry him and Tom threatens to begin if I don't.—Boston Transcript Appreciated—Kind friend (10 the com- poser who has just played his newly written revue masterpiece)—Yes, I've always liked that little thing. Now play one of your own, won't you2—London Opinion. The Big League What do you think of this idea of a world league?” asked the student of international events. “Great,” replied the baseball fan—‘‘that is, if we can stir up a little more foreign interest in the game.” —Pittsburg Dispatch. Unkind—The driver of a small car speeded out of a cross street and struck the street-car squarely amidships. The street- car conductor got off to investigate and collect evidence for his official report. “What’s the matter with you?” the conductor asked the driver. ‘Don’t you know you can’t run under my car with your top up2”—Indianapolis News. Fifty-Fifty—An Irishman who_ ha walked a long distance, feeling very thirst and secing a milkma ked the price of a quart of milk. “Threepence,” replied the milkman. Pieacs give me a quart in pints,” at. Pat, on drinking one pint, asked, “How do we stand?” The milkman replied, “I owe ye a pint.” “And I owe you one,” said Pat, “so we are quits.’"—Chicago News. THE SEVEN AGES OF MAN By JOUN A, CORWIN (Read at the Febewary D f the Gridiron Club, LL the world of politic’s a stage, And all the men therein are merely players: They have their exits and their entrances; And one man in his time plays many parts, His acts being seven ages. At, first the infant, Mewling and puking in the nurse’s arms, The chief contestant in the baby show At county fair. Then country school teacher, In winter term at fifteen plunks per month And boarding round; with Blackstone under arm, said EGYPTIAN DEITIES “The Utmost in ; Plan End or Cork Typ Rople of culture paps teresa PREFER Deities Makers of the Hyghest Grade Tirkish and Egyptian Cagarettes in the PaAoe.. SEs In full color, direct from the famous o: ely on ‘on double cream - colored ‘a red line CELEBRITY ART CO. 47 Columbus Ave. Boston, Mass. JUST THE THING for SPRING A bracing and nou! erage for body, bone and brain. Try It at Mome, Restaurant or Cate. ALL GOOD DEALERS or C. H, EVANS & SONS, HUDSON, N. ¥, i | Letters of a | SELF-MADE | FAILURE Ry Marve Switzer Price, $1.00 F YOU believe it is more important to know why ten thousand fail rather than why one man succeeds, read this book. The “LETTERS OF A SELF-MADE FAILURE” are written in epigrammatic style with a touch of irresistible humor, and they impart a system of quaint philosophy that will appeal to everyone, regardless of age, sex or station. 14 BRILLIANT PEN-DRAWINGS BY FRANK GODWIN The ‘‘Letters of a Self-Made Failure” ran serially for ten weeks in Leslie's, and were quoted by more than 200 publi- cations. If you sit in‘‘the driver's seat’ or merely plod along beside the wagon, whether you are a successor think yourself ja failure, you will find this book full of hope, help and the right kind of inspiration. LESLIE- JUDGE COMPANY 22S FIFTH AVENUE