Judge, 1917-04-07 · page 22 of 28
Judge — April 7, 1917 — page 22: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertisements and light college humor** from Judge magazine (circa 1917, based on the masthead). The "With the College Wits" section contains brief, punchy jokes typical of college humor magazines of the era—mostly playing on romantic disappointment and courtship mishaps. For example, one joke involves a rejected suitor whose ex-girlfriend wants to keep his letters for "material" she can reuse; another plays on the double meaning of "spirits" at a séance. "The Atavistic Maid" is a longer comedic poem about a woman rejecting overly genteel courtship in favor of rough, "caveman" treatment—satirizing both romantic conventions AND emerging ideas about "primitive" desires. The title references evolutionary theory (atavism = reversion to primitive traits). The rest of the page consists of **period advertisements**: cough drops, golf balls, fake diamonds, a correspondence school, hotels, and a repeating pistol—typical commercial messaging for traveling salesmen (the magazine's target audience). **No major political satire is present on this visible page.**
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Draughts Start Colds - LUDENS Keep Luden’s at home—at_ the office. Use at first : sign of coughs, colds or “throat tickle.” Often > prevent serious illness. LUDENS w CANDY, CouGH DROPS CANDY WM. H. LUDEN, Mf. Confectioner, READING, PA. DUNLOP GOLF BALLS Need no explanation as to why you should use them, after you once try them. DUNLOPS are un- equalled for length and steadiness. Try "29" medinm or $9.00 per dozen Por « by Golf Professionals DUNLOP RUBBER CO., Ltd. Birming England Compare It With a DIAMOND Get a genuine Lachnite on ten aye? fre trial, Uf you can tell it from Bae 3 a Day ! only the rock-bottom price COPY THIS SKETCH and let_me see what do with ty t STANDS HOT AND COLD WATER 10 With the College Wits Philosophy—‘“Then this,” asked re- jected James, * ‘is absolutely final?” “Quit was Dorothy's calm “shall [ return your letters, James?” Yes, please,” answered poor James. “There's some good material in them that I can use again.” —Awgawoun, reply, One Consolation—* Thank heavens,” exclaimed the — convicted — clotheshorse, “stripes will be worn next summer "—Juck o' Lantern, Obvious—Registrur—And are you the oldest of the family? Frosh—Nope. Pa and Ma are both older than [ am.—Chaparral. All the Same—Mrs. Blue band ain’t bee! ested in twent Mrs. Green—Mine's up fo’ an. -Mah_ hus- “1 was at a spiritualist meeting her night and a ghost kissed m “One of those familiar spirits, [ suppose.”-—-Purple Caw. Modesty —She—Isn’t it’ funny that handsome men are always disagreeables He—Oh, | always try to be pleasant. Penna, Punch Bowl The Atavistic Maid Listen, Sweetheart, to my plea, Cut this highly cultured game. Al this fine gentility Grows to be exceeding tame What I want is low-brow love Heavy knock-down, cave-man stuff. I'm no cooing turtle dove. Treat me rough, kid, treat me rough! Can the soft and weepy sighs, Chop the meck and humble pose. I'm no cut-glass rafile prize, I'm no fragile little rox Grab me with a python grip TT str le, call the bluff Want my love? Then take the tip: Treat me rough, kid, treat me ro T «don’t want my check caressed With a nice, respectful peck Yank me wildly to your chest— HiT fight you, break my neck. Please don’t be a gentle dub. Spilling la-de-dah-ish guit Woo an ne with a club Treat me rough, kid, treat me ro A Matter of Politeness—!!‘ife do they say “Dame Gossip”? Husbhand—Dun’no, except, perhaps, they are too polite to drop th Awgawan. T BEAR SPRING WA has made It famous.” EIASS stoppered bottles. (Advt) THE COMMERCIAL TRAVELERS MAGAZINE} St qN editor M on CO “ SPRINGFIELD, MASS. Mr. Traveling Man, a policy in f the old reliable ormanizations named. Below is an every day commos fis ece icy in each of them is an ass OLAMPLE PROTECTION AT MINIMUM COSTo Commercial Travelers Mutual AccidentAssociation Geo. S. Dana, S« Treas., Utica, N. Y. Illinois Commercial Men’s Association R. A. Cavenaugh, Sec'y-Treas., Chicago, Il. Commercial Travelers Eastern n Accident Assoc. Ira F. Libby, Sec’y-Treas., Boston, M. Towa State Travelis Men's Association . E. Rex, Sec’; Moines, lowa Mlinois is Traveling Men's Health Association A. Cavenaugh, Sec'y~ Chicago, III. Commer’ I Travelers Boston Benefit Asso. (Health) Ira F. Libby, Sec’y-Treas., Boston, M. HOTEL LONGACRE]| , BROADWAY AND 47TH STREET, talki sight ts eer eae he scat ik ad enol ea plim Sire of the Longacre ‘are well established villay Rates Per Day mw Two-ltoom Suites $3.00 up not Special Weekly Rates Restaurant a ta carte aud table d’bote. Club Breakfast. I The Best Value in New York City both in Rooms your ind Restaurant. fair PHONE 7790—BRYANT. G. L. SANBORN 7 bless nor The Ideal Wedding Gift ; Old Ivory Finish ‘ Adam Period ‘da for are catatog © desi Bieamont Red Cedar Chest Coe 2 Sta LIQUID PISTOL Will stop the most vicious dog (or man) : Pevtcty te to carry without dunger of teak par HOTEL VENDIG '3th no Fie] | ins Most Popatar in Philadeirhia dra 250 Rooms and Baths, $2.00 up ‘ Runaing ice water in every room. Excellent service in grill and cafe tior JAMES C. WALSH, Manager foh comicbooks.com XUM