Judge, 1917-03-24 · page 10 of 28
Judge — March 24, 1917 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Judge* satirizes early 20th-century social and economic conditions through humor and light verse. **"Stocks and Shares"** (left) jokes about a wartime paper shortage affecting everyday life. The poem absurdly claims that because paper is scarce, stage productions can't show snow, lovers must kiss instead of write poetry, and candy boxes contain actual chocolates rather than decorative paper. The editor's final quip—rejecting the writer's poem due to paper scarcity—is self-aware satire. **"Shocks and Stares"** (right) contains two unrelated pieces: a comic sketch showing Mrs. Brown, a large woman asking a policeman to help her cross the street, and his quip that he could see her "for half a block"; and "New York City Nursery Rhymes" describing pleasant scenes at the Plaza with children, birds, and flowers. The page also includes crude ethnic humor ("Coondergarten") typical of the era's *Judge* magazine—reflecting period attitudes now recognized as offensive. The bottom military cartoon appears to reference wartime confusion or incompetence among newly commissioned officers.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
STOCKS AND SHARES THE SCARCITY OF PAPER Ny CHARLES LEROY EDSON \ DROVE the erring girl away, With curses, threats and blows Through snow storms that would swamp a sleigh RT] In old time ‘fi a shows; But—on our humid stage today, It hardly ever snows, Owing to the scarcity of paper. opry s > < ica = sD 2 e < > 3 a % % 2 a favavavava' The paper famine in the land Has foiled the sonneteer; Instead of “taking pen in hand,” e'll take his dimpled dear; 1 of writing lyrics grand, He'll kiss her on the ear, Owing to the scarcity of paper. A bon bon box was once a snide, Half filled with curliques; But now there's chocolates inside, Without the peek-a-boos; And cobblers now use cattle hide In making soles for shoes, Owing to the scarcity of paper I thought the envoy finish would be bright, To which this theme would lead; But now I see how stale and trite And witless is my screed; To print such pifile isn’t right— Tis very wrong indeed, Owing to the scarcity of paper Fifty-Fifty oy : no remuneration for this poem,” remarked the long-haired individ- ual. merely submit it as a compli- ment.” “Then, my dear sir, permit return the compliment,” replied editor, with true journalistic courtesy me to the jisible M*. BROWN isa very large woman. Besides her great number of pounds, she is also possessed of unusual timidity about crossing streets where the traffic is hea’ One day she stopped the middle of the street: “Officer.” she asked, “could you see me across the street?” The officer turned and regarded her closely. ‘* Madam,” he replied, “I could sce you for half a block!” 1 policeman in Suggested Improved Words “ Agricultural” for gentleman farmer. “ Coondergarten” for a Negro primary school. “Somnambulance” for sleeping-car. Seriously So She (looking over menu card)—Well, what do you find in the way of cats? He—The prices SHOCKS AND STARES New York City Nursery Rhymes By LOUIS HOW The Plaza HE CHILDREN in troops Come out with their hoops, To roll them around the Plaza. The birds fall to wrath Over taking a bath; And I watch from my pleasant piazza. A sparrow took a wing, While trying to sing, And perched on a little chow’s muzzle; The poor little tyke, Could snap all you like, Without ever solving the puzzle. The lily and rose, Every flower that grows, Are springing all over the Plaza; And daisies abound In each inch of the ground That I see from my pleasant piazza. The posthole digger is one of our best known plungers in real estate. VV Ir wnw7 RS And just then the newly commissioned second lieutenant forgot every command he ever knew! comicbooks.com