Judge — March 17, 1917 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Stories with Smiles Making It All Right—An old lady who had been introduced to a doctor who was also a professor in a university, felt some- what puzzled as to how she would address the great man. “Shall I call you ‘doctor’ or ‘professor e asked. . Oh! just as you wish,” was the reply; matter of fact, some people call me an \d idiot.” Indeed,” she said, sweetly, “but, then, they are people that know you.” —Tit-Bits. a) No Danger For Him—The old salt who took small parties out by the hour in his cockleshell boat had been much annoyed by the loud and fatuous remarks of ’Arry, who had come down for the day. When just beyond the mile limit the old wreck began to lea he boatman, howeve reassured the party—told them that the was no danger and wasyconfident that they would reach the shore before the leak de- veloped. To allay any further fears, he handed around lifebelts. The party. con- cisted of five and there were only four belts. Where's mine?” asked the terrified who had dropped all his cheerful of the old salt. “Don’t you worry, my: lad! boatman, “You don’t ni i ‘ead as Voller as yourn can’t Free Advice—A man with the croup halted a doctor on a quiet street-corner. “Doctor,” he said, coughing violently, “what ought a chap to do when he’s got the croup?” The doctor’s eyes emitted a steely light at the thought of being buncoed out of a free prescription, and he said: “Such a man, my friend, ought to consult a good physician.” “Thanks, doctor,” said the sufferer, as he sleave. “That's what I'll do, then.” —Baltimore American. How About It?—Putience—There, now, I've spilled some salt. Patrice—What of it? “It’s a sure sign of a quarrel.” nothing of the kind. , it is, too. I never saw any one spill a quarrel didn’t follow.” ts nonsense.” “Tt’s not_nonsense.”” “Yes, it is, and you're silly.’ “You make me tired.” te you make me sick.” “Pooh, you.” Slow curtain.—Yonkers Statesman, Mistake in Terms—IVillis—Going to T haven't any lady. Come with me. I've got two 'is—Who are they? illis—Miss Oldbud and Miss Passé. nade tasty and detiehttul by bbott's ple of bitters By mall, 25 cts. in at cw ‘v., Baltimore, Md avy Over 100 Million ayear fe sold eam Package GEM DAMASKEENE BLADES are in sets of eeven, each blade in separate paper ex. velope, and all in sesled war paper, wrapped package—guaranteed moisture and dust proof —guaranteed sanitary — insist on unbroken package. Beautifully balanced blades, of finest Tempered steel, they take and hold a wonderful cdge—each blade examined and tested before packing seven blades for 35c. The Gem Razor makes shaving a pleasure— the beard’ ff ina ify 20 salty you never | " e < Miss itso smoot. —it's te te t . GEM _)AMASKEENE BLADES fry ie tt Vag sceueee, Sond $0.06 ue , RAZOR Dineen Blacnine oe obra hae Be $70 Dealers Everywhere Gem Cutlery Co., Inc. New York Cansdian Branch: JAI St. Catharine St. W. Moatre: to keep delicately. colored silk and_ satin slippers as clean and fresh as on the day they were purchased. Just use a_little— CARBUNA Cleaning Fluid —and a white cloth, and the stepped-on place acquired while dancing or any other soil will disappear, leaving them dry and ready to wear in an instant. Carbona cannot explode 15c.—25c.—50c.—$1.00 bottles. At all druggists comicbooks.com