Judge — March 10, 1917 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Stories Doubtful Location—During a ing question was put to one of the witnesses by the deputy coroner: “Where was the deceased struck by the motor car * Whereupon the witr “At the juncture of the dorsal and cervical vertebra The deputy coroner looked puzzled. 4 surgeon, replied: “Will you please point out that on the map?” he asked, indicating one that hung on the wall.—Case and Comment. Realism—It was at the movies. An old couple sat together through a picture that included many views of the Wild West. In one of these a cattle “round-up” appeared, in which the dust rose in clouds from the parched ground. The old lady began to cough and finally, when the neighbors began to fidget, her husband nudged her with his elbow: ‘Don’t cough, Annie; can’t you see you're disturbing the other folks?” His wife looked at him apologetically over her handkerchief, smotheri a spasm. “IT can’t help it, Ephraim: The dust tickles my throat Exerybody’s Magazine. Standing on His Rights—“ Why did you strike this man?” asked the Judge sternly. “He called me a liar, Your Honor,” replied the accused. “Ts that true?” asked the Judge, turning to the man with the mussed up face. “Sure it’s tru and I can prove it. “Ww hat have you got to say to that?” asked the Judge of the defendant. “It's s got nothing to do with the case, Your Honor,” was the unexpected | iven if Iam a liar I guess I've got a right to be sensitive about it, —Topeka State Journal. * said the accuser. “I called him a liar because he is one, ain't ie What Became of Her—‘What became of the Yardle girl who was ambitious for a stage career?” “She turned out much better than her friends ¢ You don’t mean to tell me she’s starring now? o, indeed. She's the mother of six children and has a husband who doesn’t run around at night.”—Birmingham A ge-Herald. ed.” A fine rush for the first da id the wife of Works Two Ways—* “That must mean that the the tailor who had just opened in Plunkville. old tailor isn’t giving general satisfaction.” I dunno,” responded her husband. “It may mean that he isn’t giving | general credit.”—Kansas City Journal. The Rebuff- lary?” fe couldn't have saic asking him for more money sal more or been madder if I had been his wife —Detroit Free Press. SGP ete areca rar as How Was He to Know?—Indignant Young Wife (as soon as Aunt | Matilda has retired after dinner)—John, I’m surprised at you, using such language as you did just now! John—Couldn’t help it, my dear. I burnt my fingers horribly. Indignant Young W ife—Still, you had no right to—to swear before Aunt Matilda. John (irritably) —Stray Stories. Oh, how was I to know that she wanted to swear first. ATip and a Bat—Th an advanced ominously. “Are you the teacher that tore Henry’s shirt “What did you do it for?” “Because Henry was naughty and wouldn't behave. tome I took him by the collar, and he broke aw The woman swung the ball bat toward the teacher. “Next time he don’t behave,” she said, ‘‘you hit him with this.” Newark News. To make him listen _ His Only Invention—Hubby—I see Mr. F is enough for any man, and he is the greatest inventor in the world. Wife—Well, that doesn’t justify you staying out half the night. The ooly great thing you ever do in that line is invent excuses.—Florida Times- nion, About Even—‘ You fermoers buy a good many gold bricks, eh?” “Yes, and good deal of swamp land. I guess things are about even.” —L s isile Courier-Journal. J pla a | ea 7 en | -*What did the boss say when you asked him for a raise in | with. Smile s! inquest held in Cincinnati, the follow- | ison says four hours’ sleep | ars SS ssoSSasssbsSssSSNNSnnaasnanary MELLOW AS . MOONLIGHT. MOOTH as the tread of a forest creature — rich with the life and vigor of the finest grain—pure by thorough purifica- ¢tion— mellow as moonlight— Cascade. Original Bottling Has Old Gold Label GEo. A. DICKEL & Co. Distillers Nashville, Tenn. PURE WHISKY oman mrs a PRT Lee SLY RET lie you can draw a little and | want to draw more, you have an opportunity to learn at small expense to yourself. EUGENE ZIMMER- MAN has an established reputation as a car- toonist. rene He has put some of the tricks of his trade into a book, “CARTOONS and CARICATURES” [Oe eS ER TT bound neatly in 34 mo- rocco, which will be sent » to you prepaid on receipt of $1.00. ZIM BOOK H faa Ecisaviek ATED 225 Fifth Ave. New York ol i SP RENN TERN TT comicbooks.com