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Judge, 1917-03-03 · page 24 of 28

Judge — March 3, 1917 — page 24: what you’re looking at

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Judge — March 3, 1917 — page 24: Judge, 1917-03-03

What you’re looking at

This page is primarily **advertising and light humor** rather than political satire. The content includes: **Main Advertisements:** - Keeley Treatment for alcohol and drug addiction (claiming 400,000 successful cases) - Music lessons by mail - "Sexology" instructional book by Dr. William Walling - The Landon School of Illustrating - Le Page's China Cement **Humor Pieces:** The "Passing the Mustard" section offers gentle satirical poetry about genius, contrasting famous figures who achieved young (Chatterton, Pope, Byron) with late bloomers (Bunyan at 50, Homer at 60). It's optimistic rather than biting—essentially saying "don't despair about starting late." Short quips mock banking secrecy, borrowing, and social expectations around marriage and parenthood. **Historical Context:** This reflects early-to-mid 20th century concerns: addiction treatment, self-improvement through mail education, and Victorian anxieties about sexuality and propriety. The tone is mainstream middle-class humor rather than sharp political commentary.

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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

For Liquor and Drug Using NOT cats docs the scietife Keeley Treatment F S remove the desize for liquor or drugs, but it restores i mental faculties that win success. 400,000 effective cases in 36 years. Those who have taken the Keeley Treatment find there is no confinement, no nausea. Skilled physicians, good care, pleasant surroundings. Both sexes. Write for confidential information to any LEARN MUSIC AT HOME! dolin, Cornet, Harp, *Cello, Guitar, Piccolo, Clarine tite, ‘or to sing Offer of free weekly less: only for music and postage. which is Money back guarantee. No Bexinners: Everything Je, systematic. ree. 10 years” success, § Write for Pr ‘ree Booklet Tox U.S. SCHOOL OF MUSIC, Box 282 225 Fifth Avenue, New York City SEX OLOGY by William H. Walling, A.M.. M.D. Koowledge a Young Mas Sheold Ha Kovels : Toone Meshand Shoal) ‘Have ther Should Impart to ie Sen Husband Should Hi Opinions” and Table of Contents 792 Perry Bullding, PHILA., PA. COPY THIS SKETCH Tidal Jet_me see what you ean do with it. STANDS HOT AND COLD WATER Passing the Mustard The Age of Genius What is the age when Genius spreads its pinions And soars to heights beyond our mortal ken? When rules the Muse her ultimate dominions? (Muse of a tiny realm, make At fourteen, Chatterton had gained attention; At fifteen, Pope had published more or less; At sixteen, Byron got a deal of mention, At seventeen, John Dryden went to press. At cighteen, says tradition, David drops his Pebbles and sling, and smites the sacred lyre; At nineteen, Bryant writes his Thanatopsis, At twenty, Shelley sets the world on fire. At twenty-one, come Horace, Heine, Schiller, Keats and Dumas, Disraeli and Voltaire; With lyric, drama, and romantic thriller, And prose and poetry beyond compare. What boots it? Bunyan made his hit at fifty, And Dante did his stunt at fifty-one; Homer was sixty when he got his nifty And well-known epic called “The Iliad” done. At seventy, De Morgan writes his fiction, At eighty, Sarah Bernhardt still will play. Thanks, Gentle Muse, for making no restric- tion We're going to start our masterpiece today! —Ted Robinson, in Cleveland Plain Dealer. A Misnomer—*‘ How much money has my husband in this bank?” I cannot tell you that, madam.” ‘The idea! Aren't you the teller?” — Boston Transcript. Different—"O, come! trouble.” “Borrowing! Gee whizz, man, trouble isn’t like money. When I borrow moncy I can forget about it right away."—Boston Transcript. Stop borrowing Flashlights After the Lord had made the brilliant man, the genius, and the star performer He knew the world would never get anywhere with them alone in it, so He made the hard worker and made him in quantities. You very seldom hear of a young and beautiful girl falling in love with and marry- ing an So-year-old man who hasn't a dollar to his name. One of the things we can’t understand is why strong, healthy children let their par- ents go to the poorhouse. It’s a great event when the first baby gets his first tooth, but the fifth or sixth babe can get a whole mouthful of them without causing any undue excitement. He who has friends has riches.—Eddie Guert in Detroit Free Press. The Other Bell—Hote! Visitor (coming from bathroom)—Here, I've been ringing for you for ages. Chambermaid—Which bell, sir? Visitor—The bell over the: bath. Chambermaid—Oh, we pay no attention to that bell, sir. That’s only put there in case any one feels faint.—Punch. Showing the Town—‘Have a_ big time on your trip to New York ’ “Oh, yes; I invited a native New Yorker to go out and see his town, and he seemed delighted with it.” —Florida Times-Union. Never Again—A recruiting sergeant sta- tioned in the south of Ireland met Pat and asked him to join the army. The latter Read The Club Fellow HINGTON MII For the latest Exclusive Society News % Every Wednesday At All Ber Newsstands 1c a copy $5.00 0 yex prs a 1 Madison Avenue New York City Canoeing tn, an “Old Town" is real pleasure. It ls saat strong and ihe water so smoothly. You need eee Fe buckling. An “Old Town Canoe” #a, Deautiful. Fasy to paddle and man. ‘Sponson’ Canges can 4 turn over. 10 for illustrated catalog. w noe: ready toanip. Guich delivery trom desier or factory $36 “FOWN CANOE CO. 1644 Main St., Old Town, Maine, U. WANTED AN IDEA! mple thing to patent? Protect vour ideas, they may ef Ith. bet ‘Your Patent a Wall Nuts By JAMES MONTGOMERY TAGs This clever picture, in full colors, 11x 1g, mounted a heavy mat, resdy for the frame, sect prepaid for twenty- five cents. Judge ArtPrint Department L 225 FIFTH AVE NEW YORKCITY at this ad and mall It to us, with your name and 2 {no money): apd we will send you our FAMOUS KARNAK fad be getura jail, postpald REE; then. if yo: return it. SE MORE COMPANY, 495 More Bultding, St. Lok ® You may use the razor for P © it pay us $1.83. If you do ND NO MONEY. "Pvatwatd free, Ceder Chast Co.. Dent, C- statesvite, MC, WHO CAN THINK OF Write for “Needed Inventions” ani Your Moni Randolp> Fo . Dept. 129, Washington, D. C. icbooks.com