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Judge, 1917-03-03 · page 22 of 28

Judge — March 3, 1917 — page 22: what you’re looking at

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Judge — March 3, 1917 — page 22: Judge, 1917-03-03

What you’re looking at

This page is primarily **advertising with intermixed humor content**, typical of Judge magazine's format. **Main cartoon**: "The Penalty of Corns" advertises Blue-Jay corn plasters through a sentimental illustration of a couple in an intimate moment—the joke being that foot pain interrupts romance. **Humor pieces** include: - "Love's Brew": A nostalgic poem about a romance in Japan, with the twist that the narrator remembers the tea more fondly than the lover - "Where Did This Happen?": A joke about body parts being misplaced in a crowd (likely referencing a crowded public venue or accident) - "The Law of Proportion": Satirizes auto salesmen's dishonest claims about vehicle capacity - "The Contentious Worm": Wordplay about argumentative nature - "Wanted Assurances": Satire on revival meetings, implying the preacher's own behavior contradicts his message **Advertisements** dominate: Blue-Jay plasters, Sunny Brook whiskey, Buckskin tires, Club Cocktails, and a Philadelphia hotel. The satire targets commercial excess, romantic sentimentality, sales deception, and religious hypocrisy—standard Judge magazine fare.

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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Penalty of Corns No need now to waste time soaking your feet so often. Nor run the risk of paring. LUE-JAY _plastere f hi yy goodbye Touchy corns are needless, even foolish. Blue-jay brings instant r 48 hours the average corn is gone. Only a few stubborn ones require a second or third treatment. A Blue - jay plaster, with its healing wax, is applied in a jiffy. No soreness, no inconvenience. porarily € no danger, as with to join the happy crowd tonight ‘which has won freedom the Blue-jay way. BAUER & BLACK Chicago and New York Makers of Surgical Dressings, etc. Blue=jay Stops Pain—Ends Corns 1Se and 2Se at Druggists Also Blue-jay Bunion Plaster A Pleasant Beverage A Pure. Wholesome Tonic DISTILLED BY Sunny Brook Distillery Co pings which may appear about you, very ewep lie Sty HOMEIKE, 100-110 Seventh Ave., N. OF any subject japer and urope Ws Love's Brew HALL I be sorry, or be glad Of an experience I had? Shall I be happy, or repine Because of love that once was mine? Shall I grow heartsick, or rejoice That once I echoed Cupid's voi . where skies are blue, Where flowers are fair, where daintiness Is natural . . . “twas there we two First met, in lip to lip caress; fell in love, I now confess, And vowed a troth forever true; Each day I vowed that troth anew, Some days six times . . . ‘twas seldom less. “Twas in Japan . Ah, love was love in fair Japan! T cannot think the human heart Can beat within the breast of man As mine did then. Ofttimes I start To take my mental cogs apart, The running gear, the works, to scan; To ascertain why then it ran Me up against Love's keenest dart. To please his stomach is the way To win the love of man, some say; Which I must now affirm is so— I, who have loved and drank, and know . . For naught shall I love better than ‘The tea I drank in fair Japan; Gone from my memory is she Who turned the urn... but, ah, that tea! Walter Utting. Where Did This Happen? “Did you see Mrs. Brown's leg “Yes. 1 saw it just a few minutes ago.” “Well, I don’t see it anywhere now.” “T guess it must be over there with Mrs. Murphy’s ribs and Mr. Henderson's ribs. If it isn’t there, look beside Mrs. Smith’s heart and Mrs. Perkins’ shoulder.” eo The Law of Proportion “IT want to get one of those forty- passenger cars you folks are making this “We don't make anything larger than a seven -passenger car.” replies the auto- mobile agent. idently you want to see some one who de motor busses.” “Not much I don’t,” replies the other, drawing a magazine from his pocket. “Here’s a picture of it, and you can see for yourself that comparing ‘the size of the with the size of the man standing beside it, it will hold at least forty grown people easily.” The Contentious Worm The argumentive angle worm clights to strive and wrangle. When any one agrees with him He takes the other angle. Wanted Assurances “Come forward, brother. Hit the trail,” pleads the assistant of the ffamous revival- ist, speaking to an evidently-moved man in a rear seat. “T want to lead a better life,” confides the repentant one, “but if I do get re- ligion I want to be sure it won't make me act and talk like he does.” Just imagine finding a perfect cocktail form. ula, buying the best liquors for it, and put. ting it in bottles on the ice. That’s just what Club Cocktails do for you expertly and at less expense, with ageing in the wood to perfect smoothness. In all ten varieties the Club Cocktail flavor is inimitable. G. F. HEUBLEIN & BRO. Hartford = New York London Importers of the Famous BRAND'S A-1 SAUCE Buy Your Tires At Factory Prices All you need to know about the tires you buy is how much they cost and how long they will last. eats Buckskins are sold direct at prices w are “the lowest in America.” They are cheap in price only. Hundreds of Buckskin users get much more than the 4000-Mile Guarantee And of the thousands we sold last year only 4-10 of one per cent came back for ad- justment. We pay ex- Dressage. Write today for details of our low-price offer to car owners. 7 The New Hotel Bingham IN PHILADELPHIA In the Centre of Everything HE only Hotel in Philadelphia hav- ing direct Subway and Elevated Stations and Ferry connections and also with all leading department stores. Hot and Cold running water in every room. Rooms without bath, —- $1.50 per day. Rooms with bath, $2.00 per day and up- Special Club FRANK KIMBLE Luncheons Manager An al & cigs dy Durha A Gr An egg of wealth Ouch!- Her S comicbooks.com