Judge, 1917-02-17 · page 5 of 28
Judge — February 17, 1917 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several short humorous sketches typical of Judge magazine's satirical format. **"Getting Acquainted"** presents a farmer boasting about his reckless driving habits—throwing the car into reverse without looking, rarely using brakes. The joke satirizes early automobile culture and reckless drivers who treated cars like horses. **"His Logic"** features dialogue about an omnibus (public transportation) driver's future prospects, suggesting working-class aspiration and social mobility anxieties. **"His One Desire"** jokes darkly about domestic abuse, with a wife-beater claiming his "profound ambition" is merely wanting a break from marriage. The bottom sketch ("A Long Way Removed") presents a brief exchange about distant relatives between "Luck" and "Industry," likely contrasting fortune versus hard work. The small illustration dated February 22, 1732 appears decorative rather than thematically connected.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Getting Acquainted 66O)H, yes, Irv,” said honest Farmer Hornbeak, in reply to the inquiry of a friend. “I’m getting along real well with my new mo- tor car. I have already learned to remember not to paw around for the whip when I want a little more speed, and I seldom holler ‘Haw!’ or ‘Gee!’ when trying I reckon likely by the to turn a corner. middle of next month, I’ll be about over the habit of throwing a halter into the machine before I start for town.” A Long Way Removed Luck and Industry met on the high- way of life. “T understand we are related,” said Luck. “Yes, in a way,” replied Industry. “T am the mother of Success, while you are a distant relative.” The professor—Look, Maria—joke that never grows old—man chasin’ his hat! It’s your hat he’s chasing! His Logic wry are you so polite to the om- nibus? He only pours the water and distributes the butter. He isn’t even our waiter.” “T know! I know! But some day he will be a waiter; and then, if I am on very good terms with him, he His wife—George! you fool! Wake up! His One Desire “OF COURSE, a wife beater has my most profound contempt,” said skimpy little Mr. Meek, “‘and I would not under any circumstances associate with one longer than to ask him how in the world he managed to work it?” may buy his bonds from me.” Either Valuable Stella — Jack gave me an en- gagement ring. Bella — An- thracite or bitu- minous? “Did your wife have the last word in that quarrel?” “Not yet.” FEBRUARY 22ND, 1732