Judge — February 17, 1917 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ellow. But suddenly his manner changed. Out of the corner s eye he had seen a man enter whose appearance upset him. ‘Hurry, George!’ he muttered to me. ‘Lather to the cyes—quick!— | quick!—here comes my tailor!’ —Buffalo Courier. Eggs | The goose that lays the golden egg, For compliments in vain might beg. More profitable we will find p U R E W H S KY The hen who lays the regular kind.—Washinglon Star. Self-Starter—“I'll bet you do some cranky thing to make your wife begin the tirades you complain of. “Nothing in the cranky way doing. She's a self-starter.” —Ballimore | American. MELLOW * AS Easier—Vorthern visitor, in Georgia—I sce you raise hogs almost . 4s MOONLIGHT about here. Do you find they pay better than corn and potatoes? slowly)—Wal, no; but yer sce, stranger, hogs don’t need hoeing! —Christian Register. A Wise One—‘‘Old man, you are too close in money matters. Your friends are beginning to classify you as a tig! “What does it matter? I er be classifie a tightwad than as a good thing.""—Kansas City Journal. Qualified —* Have you any qualifications for this government clerkship for which you are applying?” “Yes. My wife can make a small salary go further than any woman you ever saw." —Washington Star. { : 7 ; * ( = Wwe skill plays its part in the sen pres: i oe pigete : distilling, and care plays its part jo Thee Days—“ Making a rabbit and mixing a cocktail in grain selection and in purification, P ee eras ‘i . . a < time plays a lone part in the aging of come girls oem te iniak they comprise a course in good housekeeping. . Cascade: Henceits wholesome mellowness. ansas City Journal, ren Origina! Bottling Has Gold Label Learned Better—‘Did your husband use to write you poetry before GEO. A. DICKEL & COMPANY, Distillers you were married?” . { ae NASHVILLE, TENN. « but he used to write me what we both thought was poctry.” —Houston Post. + Qtherwise Engaged—‘Opportunity knocks even at the door of the pessim: “Vea. But he s usually knocking so busily on his own account that he | Jf you can draw a little and doesn’t hear.” —IWashington Star. want to draw more, you have |an opportunity to learn at small All the Same—“Dad, will you Iet me have 50 plunks?” expenne to yourself. “Do you mean so dollars?” — EUGENE ZIMMER- bs allithe:same;to:you. “ MAN has an established “Well, it’s all the same to me. You can’t have them.”—Birmingham : Age-Herald. reputation as a car- Waiter—(afterward)—He told me my lucky da Friday and that Tought to stop playing craps and bet on the ponies.—Erie Railroad Maga- sine, His Tip—Dining car patron—Hurry up and I'll give you a good tip. | Explained—‘‘She used to have a mobile countenance, but now her toonist. expression is fixed and rigid.” . “Automobile.”—Kansas City Journal. He has put some of the ie ii tricks of his trade into It’s a queer world. ; ; 's the matter now?” a_ book, am just thinking that as a rule the people who can sing have to be = : faxed to sing and those who can’t insist on demonstrating the fact.” —Detroit Free Press. “CARTOONS and Her Contribution—“He owes his success to his wife.” CARICATURES “That so?” “Yes. Scarcely a day gocs by but she keeps him from making a fool of himself in one way or another.”—Detroit Free Press. bound neatly in 34 mo- Her Definition—First girl—I can't just recall what a fugue is. Do | | ; ; rocco, which will be sent you know? to you prepaid on receipt of $1.00. Second girl—Certainly! It’s one of those horrible family quarrels that Southerners carry on through generations.—Boston Transcript. - ZIM BOOK The Evidence—“Why do you say he puts on airs?” : na. 7 : 5 “Because he's the kind of a man that goes to New York to sec the latest |] 2-17 Brunswick Building, 225 Fifth Ave., New York City models of automobiles that are made here.”—Detroit Free Press. Peas CS comicbooks.com