Judge — February 17, 1917 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Sixes and Sevens OUSES having to do with our gov- ernment include the White House where he lives; the House of Represen- tatives—which wiv \VAVAVAY® *, . EMME agrees with him when = $4 his digestion is nor- 2 i = RA mal; and the House 5 KY he sends abroad for z FY the adjudication of 5 5 ambassadors and the monition of mon- archs. For some hours after the late election it looked as if one of these Houses would be to let. * 3overnment consists of three branches. —executive, legislative, and judicial only President Wilson does get so little time for the judicial. He needs so much for the “third House.” cd Fine time, this, for Arizona to indulge in the luxury of two Governors! Do they want to force Carranza to intervene? & Congressman Adamson of eight-hour law fame has taken to himself a wife. Take it from us, Congressman, the cight hours may go, but the late hours won't. 2 Senator Works says the United States is following the downward path of the Roman Empire. Whoever he has slated for the Mare Antony réle will want to be shown something in Egypt more pulchri- tudinous than the Sphinx—and a shade more talkative. Mavavavavava:e@ & Uncle Sam has a chip on his shoulder and both arms in a sling.—Congressman A. P. Gardner. He has chips to ante several times yet, but as things are going, where will he get the ingredients of the sling? @ Wanted—A boy to deliver oysters that can ride a bicycle—Martinszille, W. Va. Bulletin. Oysters that can ride a bicycle t to do well in vaudeville.—Houstox Post. Any oyster at present quotations would be ashamed to ride in anything but its own touring car. ¢ “Don't you know who Frances E. Willard was?” she asked. “Jess V lard’s father,” he replied. Now she s he doesn’t know enough to vote! what you get for flattering the sex. # xas is making sausage out of jack rabbits, but in this high-cost-of-living gamble the rest of the country hasn’t even jacks for openers. His Car RAN it in the gloaming, and the country, and the town. He ran it through a season and the home of Deacon Brown. He ran it on the Sabbath, on the high, and on a be He ran in Pennsylvania, in Ohio, and in debt. He ran up hills and tire bills, to Boston, and excess, He ran a race, amuck, anon, a lot of risks, I guess, One day, at sixty miles an hour and two o'clock about, He ran down Main Street, seven men, an officer, and out! —Ialter G. Doty. Non Contagious She—I'm so glad to meet you, Pro- fessor! Didn't my boy take Latin of you? Professor—No, Madam, but he was exposed Says Old Festus Pester HERE are statistics to fit everything. Most men whom you expect to boost you merely boot you. If poets did not wear long hair how the deuce would anybody know they were poets? The man who tells women that he does not understand them comes mighty near understanding them. When I am chidden for my own good by a candid friend because of any fault or shortcoming, I own right up to it, and thus deprive him of the keen pleasure of convicting me of it after watching me squirm and twist to lie out of it A liking for olives, hard work, one’s own business, the old masters, silence, Hon’s., the Chautauqua, cold bawths, and so fourth, are all acquired tastes, and the most of them are astonishingly easy to unacquire.—Tom P. Morgan. | | Mother—Bobbie, did you wash yourself this morning? — Bobbie you talkin’ about hard times an’ | thought maybe I'd better go easy on the soap. No, mother. I heard