Judge — January 27, 1917 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Only Half Right LD CHILON, the Spartan ephor, like all other fallible fellows, was only half right when he said, “ Know thy- self.” Perhaps he was only jok- ing. Great minds are wont to joke with the world. Anyway, we have always felt that the old Spartan. didn’t expect us to go in for the kind of self-analysis that the unmuzzled e: ciency experts are calling for today. We don’t believe that he wanted us to go over oursel and through ourselv with a score card, a probe, a pair of tweezers, and a compound microscope, looking for the normal pressure of our assertiveness and for a thousand other instincts and aptitudes that are well able to take care of themselves What some of these syndicated intro- spectionists would have us do to our- selves is truly astounding. They hand us cards and folders and efficiency sheets with long and meaningless lists of physi- cal, mental, and spiritual characteristics, each little “istic” being given an atomic weight and a specific gravity that mean about as much as the register number of a pure-bred bull pup. They ask us to record the color of our bicuspids and the viciousness of our skepticism, the texture of our beards and the malevolence of our aptitude for public service, the diver- gence of our feet and the depth of our souls. They would have us pry into our artistic and esthetic tastes, our accuracy of observation, our practicality and our poise. But we shall make much better time and be twice as happy if we forget most of what we find out about our- selves. What can we expect of a man who knows that he ranks excellent in versatility, poor in initiative, medium in imagination, good in the coordination of details, and minus in common sense; who has found out by a chart that he is or- thodox, contentious, unkind, firm, ascetic, unreliable, grasping, reticent, receptive, ingrati: ial-minded, miserly, servile, punctual, persistent, dull, and unpopular? We can’t expect anything. And we don’t. We know that only two courses are open to him. If he can break into print, he will become an effi- ciency expert; and if he cannot, society fol 0 JUST A LITTLE CAT-NIP in self-defense will have to turn him over to the maladministration of some » monkey-house warden. We really need to know only a few things about ourselves. First and for- ever we must remember that hard work at our own jobs will bring out the best in most of us. In the second place we must consider that there are other kindly dis- posed individuals besides ourselves upon this earth, and that most of them don’t like to be pestered. We must not unin- tentionally step on any of them. And that is about all we need to know. We can well afford to forget our characteris- tics and our personalities. A dyspeptic is a man who knows all about the contrary juices in his tummy- tummy-tum, and plans his dietary and his misery accordingly. He can’t forget himself. Sixes and Sevens ORE than one of the belligerent na- tions would be content—relatively speaking—to leave it up to Uncle Sam and the status ante. ¢ Jusserand joins in honoring Joan of Arc. Extremes meet—how felicitously! Joan, maid for battle, and Jusserand, made for peaceful diplomacy! * Justice Mager, of Tiffin, O., says he will accept vegetables or meat for the wedding fee. How many potatoes goes for the alimony, Judge? ¢ The Lord bade Adam earn his bread in the sweat of his brow. Sceing as bread prices then current didn’t call for so much sweat area, the Lord didn’t make Adam a high brow. 2 Champ Clark says he’s in favor of abolishing the Congressional Record. Why, Champ, the other day you said we ought to consume more mush. 2 The Audubon Society seeds make fine bird food. we mostly plant ours to raise squa: ¢ the new Emperor of Austria . too. And there isn’t a ys cantaloupe ee = - comicbooks.com