Judge, 1917-01-06 · page 4 of 32
Judge — January 6, 1917 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page presents humorous social commentary rather than political cartoons. The main articles mock contemporary manners and consumer culture: **"Slush"** satirizes both public and private rudeness—public slush (mud) makes people slip dangerously, while private slush (marital discord) enslaves people. The joke plays on the dual meaning. **"Sixes and Sevens"** references the phrase "at sixes and sevens" (confused/disorganized). It mocks a man calling himself a "small potatoes" taxpayer while complaining about income tax. The small cartoon labeled **"Good Salesmanship"** shows two figures discussing a car's reputation. The humor appears to be about deceptive sales tactics or inflated claims about used automobiles. These pieces target early 20th-century American consumer anxieties and social pretension rather than specific politicians or events.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Accessories F THERE is anything in catalogues— and there is a great deal—the auto- mobile as a factor in our existenc going out. This statement is not made without careful thought. A long study of the principal motor - journals leads to the truth: the Ac- cessory is the Thing. By the time any owner has gone through the list of Acces- sories, he will agree with the dictum. One owns a car. bout half the purchase price goes for accessories—things without which no car is fit to run. One can remember when the automobile companies thought they were doing one a favor if they included in the equipment of a machine a speedom- eter and a horn. Nowadays no good concern puts out without everything possible in the sory line included. One make is better than another, not because it has a better engine, or more comfortable upholstery, or a better- constructed body, but because it includes an oil-stove and hot and cold water in its equipment, while the other has only automatic elevator-servi And_ the number of toys that the guileless owner can insert on his machine is simply legion. The accessories may total to twice the value of the car, anyway; and judging from some that we have traveled in, the car itself is often absolutely lost sight of. By the time one has found a seat on the tire-pump, and has inserted one’s feet between the cigar-lighter and the peri: cope, with one’s head on the cash-register, there is no getting out of that car except for emergencies. Time was when the accessory was added to the automobile; but today the automobile is built around and over and through and between the accessories. The world do move! Slush Stusi comes in city streets and in lover’s conversation. Slush may therefore be properly designated as public and private. Public slush is bad for the feet, and private slush is bad for the other end of the anatomy. Both kinds frequently make people slip up with disastrous consequences. Public slush may make a man an invalid for life, while private slush m lead to matri- mony and make one a slave for life. The greatest difference between the two slushes is that public is cold and clammy while private is warm and chummy. Sunshine and matrimony are the anti- dotes for slush. Slush cannot stand sunshine, and matrimony cannot stand slush for any length of time. Sixes and Sev ALL aman “small pota toes” nowadays and you sic the income tax col- lector on him. 2 Admiral Lord Beresford says Great Britain has the most autocratic govern ment since Pharoah’s. Pharaoh “got his” by monkeying with the Red Sea males, mind you. £ An Indiana girl earning $6 just finished paying $1 a week for a $2 pair of shoes. Now they'll lower the skirts on her. # The great seal of Staf- ford County, Va., m since the Civil War, has been found at Oyster Bay. Guess on what prominent Oyster Bay citizen’s lips they didn’t find the seal? 2 One of these days Alaska may claim the distinction of casting a deciding vote in a presidential election. —Washington Star. David B. Hill when proxy for Alaska, in the presidential election of 1904, said to Judge Parker: “The people I repre- sent won't cast a vote against you.” 2 Some women buy women marry them.—C So that’s why they call it wholly matrimony? We n’t one’s husband an annex to adore door-mats. Other ncinnati Enquirer. * Newspapers wrapped around the body keep a person hot. So does the price of the newsprint paper, if the person is a publisher. GOOD SALESMANSHIP George—Don't you understand, Mary, that I dislike the 3 Blix car? It’s unsubstantial and has a bad reputation. Ing Mary—But, George, dear, that young salesman was so pleasant and accommodating !