Judge — November 4, 1916 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

FIGHTING TRIM WH HER your battle ts fought in the trenches, behind an office desk or in the home you need to keep fit. It’s comparatively easy for the soldier tokeepup toscratch, The civilian—man or woman—has a harder task. Seden- vits, insufficient exercise, too much food and too much hurry about eating it, combine to cause a more or less chronic condition of constipation Don’t think you can dispose of con- stipation with a cathartic pill, tives and cathartics cause more con- Stipation they cure and their persistent use is likely seriously to undermine your health, La than NUJOL relieves constipation effectively and has none of the objections which are common to all drug remedies. It acts as an internal lubricant, prevent- ing the bowel contents from becoming hard and facilitating the normal proces- ses of evacuation, NUJOL, put up in pint bottles only, is sold at all drug stores. stitutes—look for the name on bottle and package Dept. 13 STANDARD OIL COMPANY (New Jersey) Refuse sub- NUJOL Bayonne New Jersey Send for booklet, “THE RATIONAL TREATMENT OF CONSTIPATION.” name and address plainly below, -Addre: Cit: Write your ! | content himself with money-getting. | ple opposite held their breath. | enough mone: Stories with Smiles Yes, My Dear—Take this letter, please, Miss Mushy.” said Ada Adamsonny, head of the famous Adamsonny Vinegar foundry, “*\ Seattle Wicks, Wicksburg, Wick, Virginia. Dear Sir, Yours of the 33rd instant received and contents noted, and would say—'” “Wanted on the telephone, M damsonny,” said office boy. “It’s Mrs. Adamsonny, “Tut, tut,” tutted Mr. Adamsonny. “This is my busy day. Arig vistus, follow me with the Talkaphone. Put in record No. 33456." And he went to the telephone, and said into it. “Hello. Rhubarby? my dear. Yes, my dear. Yes, my dear.” Rather quickly for an office boy, Ariovistus appeared with the Talks. phone. Mr. Adamsonny adjusted it to the telephone and. returning to bis desk, resumed his dictation. Three times a minute the Talkaphone said “Yes, my dear,” in Mr. Adamsonny’s voice, and Ariovistus stood by to start the record over cach time it ran down. At the end of twenty minutes Mr. Adamsonny rose again, went tothe telephone, and said, ‘Really my dear, I'm afraid I'll have to retum to work now. Yes, my dear, Goodby.” And he hung up and winked at the Talkaphone and Miss Mushy who giggled two or three giggles.—Detroit Free Press. ° \riovistus, the Ye: Judging By Appearances—They were enthusiasts in physiognomy and phrenology and were traveling by train. On the opposite seat was a man of commanding figure, massive brow and serious expression. “What a fine countenance, Arthur! I wish I knew his occupation.” a lawy too much benevolence in that He may be a banker.” A man with such a heavenly expression couldn't His aim in life is higher.” an be an editor?” not face for a lawyer. “Tam sure he is not. “Well, do you think he An editor, with such a f An editor, saying hard things about every- body, ridiculing women’s dresses and abusing mothers-in-law! An editor, cutting and slashing his enemies, laying public men indiscriminately and mercilessly slaughtering his best friends for the sake of a paragraph! No. Edith, he’s a philanthropist. His face plainly indicates that he is all that is good, noble, pure and tru At the next station an inquisitive old fellow took a seat beside the man with the noble brow and asked him about his vocation. The cou- The reply was this: “T’ve a public house and a butcher shop. My wife looks after the bar and I do my own killin’. —Chicago Journal. Giving Her a Ride—About three miles from his place of busines lives Mr. Jones, and he goes back and forth every day in his automobik. Now, Mr. Jones has a kind, generous heart, and when he sces a pedes trian trudging his way he will often offer the man a “lift.” One morning, shortly after leaving home, he saw a large Irishwoman struggling along with a huge bundle. He stopped his car and said politely “Mayn’t I give you a lift, madam? “In that thing?” “never rode in one in all my life.” “Well, jump in.” and when she had climbed in and deposited the bundle on the seat beside her, they started on. After he had covered a mile, Mr. Jones became a little uneasy; but he kept on for nearly another mile, and then turned and said, “Where do you want to go, madam?” She gave hima broad smile and a gracious nod of the head, and replied “Anywhere you wish; it makes no difference to me.” “But where were you going when I took you in?” asked Mr. Jones. “Oh,” she said, “only to the next house!" Youth's Companion Bound to Get Married—A young factory hand and his girl went (0 ‘They got as far as the church, when he found out he had not y to pay the wedding fee. The clergyman would not mary them, saying, “No money, no wedding. So the girl asked would he wait till she went home for the money he clergyman said * Yes.” J In alittle while the girl returned with the moncy and the knot 38 duly tied. The girl now said to the clergyman: “Can anyone oppose our union?” To which he replied: “Nobody, my daughter. The girl said “Then there's the pawn ticket for your hat and coat, from the vestry and pawned!” Collapse of his reverence.—Chicago Journal. get married. Heaven bless you.” which I took comicbooks eofia