Judge, 1916-10-28 · page 8 of 28
Judge — October 28, 1916 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two satirical anecdotes about marital and social folly, typical of Judge's humor. The first story mocks a married man's scheme to avoid decision-making by constantly consulting his neighbor's wife via notes on trivial matters (dinner time, desserts, gardening). His strategy backfires when she recognizes the manipulation and refuses to answer. He persists until her exasperated husband forces them to move away—the punchline being the narrator claims they now have "friends who let us mind our own business," suggesting his real problem wasn't solved. The second brief anecdote satirizes the era's obsession with movie stars. An elderly man disapproves when his niece marries a film enthusiast named Herb Flickers. He tolerates this "disease" philosophically until they name their newborn "Charles Chaplin Flickers"—after the famous silent-film comedian. The joke: the family's movie-star mania has now infected the next generation, making the situation unbearable. The "Fine Candies" advertisement and "Spendthrifts" illustration appear to be separate commercial content on the page.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“Old scout, you know me! Although, because, perhaps, I am a married man, I am afraid of noone. So I tried a brilliant scheme; I couldn’t have thought of it in million years, but I read of it some- Where some years ago. Whenever I in- tended doing anything I sent Mrs. bor a note, ing for her advice matter. Did she think 5 o'clock in the afternoon too early for dinner, as I got home at 4:30? Did she think it was go- ing to rain? Were strawberries and cream all right to eat after a lettuce Would a dog injure the rambling roses? Would—oh, I can’t begin to re- member the questions I asked her. And when I couldn't present myself at her door, I had one of the boys take notes to her. “At the start-off she was compli- mented; but after a while she saw through the scheme and refused to an- swer the queries. I didn’t stop; note followed note; when she didn’t answer they were tucked under her door. And finally her husband—poor wretch!— bought me a cigar and told me they were going to exchange that house for one somewhere else. “We moved there only a month ago, but we've scores of friends all over the neighborhood—friends who let us mind our own business.” salad? His Waterloo “ HEN my favorite nicce, Gladys Mae, went crazy over moving- picture stars I did not give her case the serious attention that I ought to have accorded it, trusting that it would wear itself out in the course of time,” con- fessed old Festus Pester. “And when she married young Herb. Flickers, who was afflicted with the same disease, I regarded the matter philosophically, feeling that it was just as well not to spoil more than one family with two such rattle heads.” But now, in due and proper season, when they have bestowed the name of Charles Chaplin Flickers on their first-born, who is said to be the very image of me. I feel that it is really too much!” 4d dO SPENDTHRI FLT S COMICHOOKS Gof