Judge — October 21, 1916 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

CASCADE auality isfounded ‘on grain qualit illed. to r Original Rectling Mas Old Geld Label GEO. A. DICKEL & CO. Disillers Nashville, Tenn. tp quisitely gowned woman —would not look half so exquisite if there were a spot or streak of soil to mar the beauty of her costume. Five drops of— CARPONA Cleaning Fluid and a white cloth will eliminate a spot. Keep a bottle on your dressing-table. It is perfectly safe because Carbona will not explode 1s¢.— ‘$0c.—$1.00 bottles. At all druggists NOVEMBER FILM FUN At all Newsstands Now. 10c a $1.00 a Year EP hit AES NSS OPSE 8S, HENRY LINDENMEYR & SONS PAPER WAREHOUSE Nos. 32, 34 and 36 Bleecker Street Branch Warehouses : 20 Beekman Street. New York, and 32 Clinton Street, Newark, N.J. ALL KINDS OF PAPER MADE TO ORDEK WANTED AN IDEA! WHO CAN THINK OF SOME simple thing to patent? Protect your ideas, they may bring wealth. Write for “Needed Inventions” and “Tow to Your Patent Your Money.” Randolph & Co., Patent Attorneys, Dept. 129, Washington, D. C. Shear Steal Misled Oh, an optimist came singing And his song was good to hear, For he said the world was swinging In a pathway filled with cheer. I listened to his carol. 1 didn’t mean to shirk, But I donned my glad apparel And forgot to go to work. For the optimist was saying That the world was made for joy And for laughing and for playing Far from thoughts that might annoy. But the duty I neglected Kept on piling up its care That it left me all dejected. I'm a pessimist for fair! . —Washington Star. Distinction—“ According to the mini: ter’s sermon this morning,” said Mrs. En- peck, ‘there is to be no marrying or giving in marriage in heaven. Do you believe that?” “Well, I have no reason to doubt it,’ answered Enpeck. “There must be some way to distinguish it from the other place.” — Indiana polis Star. Hadn’t Time—Mrs. Exe—I’m going down town this morning. Exe—Shopping, my dear? Mrs. Exe—No, | haven't time for that; just to buy some things that I need.—Phila- delphia Inquirer. Wait—‘ Woman is a little slow to get acquainted with the auto, apparently.” ‘What makes you say that?” “T have never seen one repairing her car with a hairpin as yet.” —Columbus Citizen. Suspicion—* That new cook arrived Sat- !” remarked Mrs. the way they'll do,” replicd her husband. “It’s a new scheme for week-end holidays.” —Washington Star. In Negro Minstrel Days—Farmer— Think of it! The number of people nowa- days who are done by the middleman! Grocer—But just think back about 30 years? Farmer—As to what? Grocer—How they used to be done by the End Man!—Farm Life. The Best Kind—Alice—No man _ will ever dare to trifle with my affections. I have five big brothers. Agnes—They'll trifle with yours sooner than they will with mine. I have five little brothers.—Chicago Herald. Those Little Angels—Nei:hbor—How did that naughty little boy of yours get hurt? Ditto—That good litle boy oi yours hit him on the head with a brick.—London Sat- urday Journal. Worth Doing—Hub—The doctor says that if I keep on working at this place for money I shall be a wreck at 45. Wife—Never mind, dear; by that time we shall be able to afford it.—Boston Transcript. Could He Arrest a Cold?—A man wy appointed detective for a railroad company, and he showed his authority at every opper. tunity. While riding in a coach one day, be heard a little boy behind him sniffing. The detective turned to him and said “Have you a pocket handkerchief, my litt man?” The boy replied: ‘Yes, sir, but mamma said I shouldn’t loan it to everybody,”— Christian Herald. To Drink From—*Do you think Cis. derella really wore a glass slipper?” “I don’t know, Cholly. Why are you interested?” “It would have been great for that cham- pagne stunt.”’—Louisville Courier-Journal. Instantaneous—“That moving pictur was rather inconsistent.” How so?” “The employer discharged his stenog rapher for not being quick cnough. Yet ste | was dashing off whole letters with one flicker of the film.”-—Kansas City Journal. Why They Cheered—‘ Who are those people who are cheering?” asked the recruit as the soldiers marched to the train. “These,” replied the veteran, “are the people who are not going.”—London Satw. day Journal. The Farmer’s Philosophy—* Don't you get tired of summer boarders who complaia of the food?” “T used to,” replied Farmer Cortossd, “until I figured on it. ‘There's more profit in a boarder who kicks and doesn’t cat than there is in one who eats and doesn’t kick.”— Washington Star. Its Value—‘That was a great speech you made,” said the enthusiastic friend. “Do you think it will help me?” asked Senator Sorghum. “Unquestionably. It may not have much influence in public affairs, but it ought to get you an engagement with any lecture bureau.” —Brooklyn Citizen. In the Toils of the Law—“I have a- most starved to learn,’? said the struggling student, the first. day he hung out his shingle. “And now you must almost leam te starve,” replied the old attorney, who re membered the echoing emptiness of his earliest office. —The Christian Herald. His Notes—The Author—What has be come of that pair of cuffs 1 laid aside afte breakfast? / The sad wife—I sent them to the laundry The author—Good heavens! 1 had the plot of a great novel written on them!— Kansas City Star. Concurrence — Geraldine —1 hate think of my thirtieth birthday. Gerard—Let’s not dring up the pas Chicago Herald. A Facer—Romantic bridegroom (on te honeymoon)—Suppose we never had met She—Oh, I should simply have another man.—Topeka Journal. comicbooks om