Judge — October 14, 1916 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

FIGHTING TRIM WEETHER your battle is fought in the trenches, behind an office desk or in the home you need to keep fit. It’s comparatively easy for the soldier tokeepup toscratch. The civilian—man or woman—has a harder task. Seden- tary habits, much food and too much hurry about eating it, combine to cause a more or less chronic condition of constipation insufficient exercise, too Don’t think you can dispose of con- stipation with a cathartic pill. La tives and cathartics cause more con- stipation than they cure and their persistent use is likely seriously to undermine your health. NUJOL relieves constipation effectively and has none of the objections which are common to all drug remedies. It acts as an internal lubricant, prevent- ing the bowel contents from becoming hard and facilitating the normal proces- ses of evacuation. NUJOL, put up in pint bottles only, is sold at all drug stores. Refuse sub- stitutes—look for the name NUJOL on bottle and package Dept. 13 STANDARD OIL COMPANY (New Jersey) Bayonne New Jersey Send for booklet, “THE RATIONAL TREATMENT OF CONSTIPATION.” Write your name and address plainly below. of course, when Mrs. Neighbor asked for vinegar we gave her of best. But when she returned it she sent a very cheap grade, which were unwilling to use and were obliged to throw out. = “This was repeated so often that we began to weary of it, and sx denly a bright idea struck me. I carefully poured her cheap vinepe into a bottle and saved it. Next time she asked me to lend her yj Isent her own toher. The cure worked. She has never asked for anothe drop and I suppose she thinks I am a mean sort of neighbor, Bul don't care.”—Philadelphia Record. 7 Knew Something—Some time ago one of the masters at a certais grammar school caused a sensation by publishing a book which bore ap striking resemblance to one published previously by a well-known miner poet. Comments upon the matter became of an accusatory nature, a4 culminated in one of the pupils openly accusing the author one day iz the common room of plagiarism. “Sir,” replied the indignant author, “your opinion is neither ough: nor valued—you’re an ass.”” “T may be,” calmly retorted the scholar, “but—the ass knoweth ts master’s crib!” —Philadelphia Ledger. Could Not Be Disturbed—Although Jed Hoover was the lazieg man in town, he always had strength to hold a book or magazine in bs hand. It was only in emergencies that the neighbors called upon him fer} help. One hot day in July, when the clouds threatened rain, a farmer hurried to his shack and asked him to “rake after" the last load of hay, Jed hesitated a minute, and then his eye fell upon a pile of old mg zines that were stacked in a corner of the sagging piazza. “Well, now, I'd like to help out,” was the reply, “but I'll have to refex ye this time. I’m a little behind with my reading.” —Youth's Companise The Archdeacon’s Retort—A popular archdeacon, while out ox day with his dog and gun, met a parishioner. “T hope,” said the archdeacon, your Bible?” “I do read my Bible,” replied the parishioner; and added, in a sever f tone, “but I nowhere find that the apostles went out shooting.” “No,” said the archdeacon; ‘the shooting was very bad in Palestine so they went fishing instead.”"—Fuacts and Fancies. Country Weeker—Dr. Horace Leavenworth Hall, the pioneer of th children’s country week movement in the west, said the other day in Denver “The examples of slum children’s ignorance are as incredible as the are innumerable. “A farmer’s wife pointed out to a slum urchin a flock of birds wing ing their way across the evening sky. “*Oh, look at the pretty birds,’ she said. “*Poor things!’ said the urchin. ‘Poor little things! They ain’t go no cages, have they?’"—Detroit Free Press. Not His Idea of It—For the first time in his life the unintellectu! man had been lured into a muscum. Among the scientific treasures shown him by his intellectual friend was a case full of stuffed birds. There} was one specimen that rather interested him. He asked what it was, aod]] was told that it was a cassowary. i “T have heard of the cassowary,” said the unintellectual man, “bat this is not my idea of it.” i “Perhaps not,” said his friend,‘ but it is God's idea." —New York Times. Neighborly Amenities—Over the garden fence the conversation he! suddenly turned acrimonious. ; “An’ if yore boy 'Erbert ties any more cans to our pore dog's tail was Mrs. Moggins’ stern ultimatum, ‘’e’ll ‘ear about it, that's all! Ne s you've come wiv that saucepan wot you borrowed bs Erbert,” asked Mrs. Grubb, shrilly, “‘wot ‘ave you bin doin’ to Mrs Moggins’ dog?” . “Nothin’, ma,” replied the small boy, unblushingly . “There!” said his mother, triumphantly. ‘An’ you returmed saucepan yesterday, didn’t you, dearie?” -- “Sent it back by ‘er dog,” said Herbert, calmly.—Tit-Bits Dark Secret—‘ Mrs. Flubdub won't tell anybody how she voted “No wonder. I hear she voted in a last year's hat!’ Journal. He Didn't Forget—First woman—I got a letter from you yest and it was dated a whole weck ahead. " Second woman—Did you really? My husband must have pos it the very day I gave it to him.—Boston Transcript you attend church regularly and reat 4 me