Judge — October 7, 1916 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THOROUGHBREDS promise paradise if he is elected, why ain’t a single feller got a right to promise heaven if he is selected? If you can bluff the public and not get stopped, why can’t they | “Who's stopping you?” broke in Markowitz, oratorically, “bluff so much like you like, but not during business hours. Love so much like you like, but not during business hours. Get picRtches of Venuses and postals with hammocks all you like in the night time, by your house—but by the day, stick to books and business like me—" Here Markowitz was interrupted by the entrance of the letter-carrier who threw a picture postal on his desk. Henry rushed over, seized it and thrust it quickly into his back pocket. Marko- witz’s eyes belched forth fire, both from anger at Henry’s sec- ond transgression and from disappointment at not hearing from Milwaukee. “Henry,” he shouted, “if in the next mail there is no check from Milwaukee where I went especially my- self to collect, but a picktche for you, I'll throw you with the picktche together down the elevator!” Henry’s face flushed a deep purple. He defiantly drew the postal from his pocket, and commenced reading it. But no sooner did his eyes rest upon it than a peal of laughter shot out of his mouth like spray from a water nozzle. “Read it, Max, read it!” he cried, dancing around the room and holding the postal above his head. ‘Look, look, it’s fer you—Max Marko- witz. It says, ‘A million kisses but just a little stronger and a little longer than yours,’ and is signed ‘Cutey from Milwaukce.’” “Henry, Henry!” stammered the crestfallen Markowitz, “ain't there a Max Markowitz among our operators?” Semper est Femina! 6OMY WIFE,” observed the Cheerful Idiot, “is in wrong with the secret service.” ot as a foreign spy, I trust?” asked the Serious Person: Shucks, no,” said the C.-L, “she doesn’t care a whoop for king or kaiser. But she will doll up so she looks younger than she did when I married her. Take it from me, she’s some counterfeit doller!” Surprised Bertie (whose motor has broken down and who is compelled to ride in a trolley!)—Bah Jove! I had no idea these affairs were so popular! Might Have Expected It “What broke up the peace conference?” “Oh, a couple of the delegates got into a fight.” “T understand young Bradley was quite a dude before he married.” He was, Now hets subdued.” comicbooks. fT