Judge — October 7, 1916 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

youn, Stories with Smiles A Clever Ruse—Two soldiers in full campaign kit mounted guard before a brandy bottle under a restaurant awning on the Rue de Vincennes. This is forbidden to soldiers. Beer and light wines mark the frontier of their alcoholic advances. A general jolted by on his horse. The two sol- diers looked at him calmly. They seemed interested. He jolted back and his horse. ee “Hey, you,” said he. “You militaires!” The two soldiers continued to look at him. One of them sipped his brandy. The other said: “What will you, monsieur?” The general had what would have been a fit’ in any person not com- pktely dignified. He turned a dull, dangerous red. Then he regained enough breath to place them under two or three sorts of arrest. The sol- diers continued to regard him calmly. The second soldier sipped his brandy. The first soldier said: “Dovnot fash yourself, monsicur. We are not real soldiers. We work for a cinema.” The general jolted on. The soldiers winked at cach other gravely. “It is a beau stratagem,” said the first soldier. “After this we can take our aperitifs in comfort.” —New York Globe. The Sailor Obliged—Young Mr. Hallowell was not much of a preacher, but, much to his own surprise and everybody else’s, he wa: appointed chaplain on a battleship. He desired to amuse as well n- stract his men, and to that end he arranged a magic lantern lecture on Bible scenes and incidents. A sailor who possessed a gramophone was secured to discourse appro- priate music between the slides. The first picture shown was Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. The sailor cudgeled his brains and ran through his repertoire, but he could think of no piece exactly appropriate. “Play up, play up,” whispered the chaplain. Suddenly an inspiration struck the sailor, and to the consternation of the chaplain and the delight of the audience the gramophone squawked out: “There is only one girl in this world for me.”—New York Times, First Aid—She took a course of first aid to the injured, and, after log and anxious waiting, the street accident she had carnestly wished for took place. It was a bicycle accident, the man had broken his leg; she confis- _ cated the walking stick of a passerby and broke it in three pieces for splints; she blushingly took off her underskirt for bandages and she was enthusiastically cheered by the crowd. When all was completed she summoned a cab and took her patient to t jospital. “Who bandaged this limb so creditably?” inquired the surgeon. “I did,” she blushingly replied. “Well, it is most beautifully done,” said the surgeon, “but you have, I se, made one little mistake.” She felt terribly self-conscious. “You have bandaged the wrong leg,” he said quietly.—Raltimore Sun. Uncertain Humanity—“Briefly stated,” we explained, “the story of Enoch Arden was about as follows: He went to sea and was ship- wrecked on an uninhabited island where he remained for several years. When at last he was rescued Mr. Arden put out for home with con- siderable rapidity, only to find that during his absence Mrs. Arden had married again. What do you suppose was his subsequent action?” Hard to figger,” replied Mr. Gap Johnson, of Rumpus Ridge, Ark., who had been listening with deep interest to the recital. “You can’t tell hich way a toad will jump when you poke him, and folks is just as Peculiar. “Prob'ly he either took a shot at his wife’s second husband or ese borrowed enough money off’m to get back to his uninhabited island, and I wouldn’t bet a nickel on cither horn of the what-d’ye-call it?”— )) Kensas City Star. P Exclusive—A new story is being told about a certain London club, a internationally for both its exclusiveness and its dullness. ‘n one of the rooms a rule of silence is stringently enforced. The se t dty occupants of the room were startled to see a member press a hea hi ton with evident annoyance, and when the waiter appeared to rum exclaim, pointing to a neighbor in a chair: Waiter, remove that member.” man in the chair had been dead three days.—New York Times. Gave Daddy Away— ie “ y—A Muncie newspaper man has a daughter 2 years old. When the county fair wae ie progress recently, the ba man escorted the tiny girl to the fair grounds. She became thirsty wee conducted her to the building in which the women of a church Serving dinners and selling soft drinks. He bought the child a 5 Here in America most successful men appraise things sanely and con- duct their affairs moderately. And it is among these men who practice the virtue of moderation that we find our best market for a wonderfully mild and mellow Whiskey Wilson— Real Wilson—That’s All! The Whiskey for which we invented the Non-Refillable Bottle FREE CLUB RECIPES—Free booklet of famous club recipes for mixed drinks. Address Wilson, 315 Fifth Ave.,N. Y. That's All! Men Who Are Making America” by B. C. FORBES Coal-Miner, Athlete, Road-Builder T. Coleman du Pont’s remark- able story is told in this week’s issue of Leslie’s by B. C. Forbes. More war-pictures that tell the unprinted, real story of the war. Schoolitis comicbooks.com