Judge — October 7, 1916 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

You generally give all your guests the same drink when you mix your own cocktails. How much better to have ready on the ice the favorite varieties of Club Cocktails to meet the individual taste! In all ten varieties, Club Cocktails are marked by a smoothness and balance of flavor practically impossible in the home mixed variety. G. F. HEUBLEIN & BRO. Hartford = New York London Importers of the Famous BRAND'S A-1 SAUCE Diamondson Credit 2090 Down, 1000 A Month Only Diamonds of striking bniliance, cut and polish Every ge ay be diamon ber § ESTABLISHED 1043 J. M. LYON & CO. 71-73 sau St., New York ROMEIKE’S PRESS CLIPPING BUREAU will send you all newspaper clippings which may appear about you, your friends, or any subject on which you may want to be “ up-to-date.” Every news- per and periodical of importance in the Uitted States and Europe is searched. Terms $5.00 for 100 notices. HENRY ROMEIKE, 106-110 SEVENTH AVENUE, N. Y. greatly if it had been. I know Winifred Brown well, and she doesn’t look a bit like you.—Siren. The Last Word—“John,” said Mrs. Cluckpeck, “I want you to take your feet off that table.” “Mrs. Cluckpeck,” he answered, ‘there is only one person who can talk that way to me.” And who is that?” she demanded an- grily. “You, my dear,” replied John, putting his fect to rest on the floor.—Tiger. The Obdurate Waiter He spilt the coffee on my dome This waiter lank and lean, Although he knew I did not want My coffee in the bean.—Widow. Lucky Arthur—Pat—What did Polly say when Arthur proposed to her? Clare—Nothing—she accepted him.—Rec- ord. Retort Discourteous—Large One—Get off my feet. Small One—Is it much of a walk?—Froth. Like Some Records—He—You have a wonderful voice. She—Do you think so? He—Indeed yes! Else it would have been worn out long ago.—Pelican. A Burning Brand—Fresh—What brand is that cigar? Soph—Brand new, child, Never been smoked before.—Orange Peel. Brave Adam—Adam—Time must hang heavy on your hands. Eve—Why, honey? Adam (recklessly)—Well, you wear a wrist watch.—Jester. Corrected—Romantic Youth—Oh, dar- ling, don’t you wish this beautiful narcissus could speak? I wonder what it would say? Hortense—Probably say “I am a daffodil.” —Siren. Good Reason—Passenger—What makes the train run so smoothly? Conductor—It’s off the track.—Aggie Squib. Shades of Mary Baker Eddy—“How did the ghosts get in after we had locked all the windows and doors before the seance started?” “Oh, they probably used skeleton keys.” —Longhorn. In Urup—French trooper—The Fritzes all carry umbrellas in the trenches. British Tommy—Ah! And what for? France—So they can’t be taken by storm. Chaparral. Poor Mr. Brown—‘Y’know Mr. Brown? He’s got a lien on that house.” “He was worse than that last night.”— Purple Cow. Naughty Thing!—“ Mrs. Murphy, have you seen my glass eye?” Yes, sor; it was readin’ one of your let- ers, and I hid it in the bureau.” —Lampoon. H’m!—Mother—Hennery! I'm i at these pictures on the wall. ree Heine (shocked also)—That dared J boy, again! I told him to quit putting ¢ ihose Oriental scenes in my room.—Chapor ral. Actions Speak—Bertha Mae—So yoy told Paul of your love? a ,, Sister Clara—Well—a—not just exacts that—we just went through the motions — Awgwan. This is Straight—“ Did you know poker is an art?” “No!” “Fact. Here’s an art school advertising “Learn to Draw Properly.’”—Gargoyle, Two Meal Tickets—AMemb. of fraternity —Won’t you come over to the house for dinner tonight? Rushee—Thanks very much, but won't tomorrow night do just as well? Memb. of fraternity—Yes, certainly, but where are you dining tonight? Rushee—At your house, but one of the other fellows gave me tonight’s invitation. — Siren. She Understood—<lviator (home from the war on leave)—And then when you are up pretty high—three or four miles, and you look down, it’s posi sickening. It is stupendo ul! A great height isa fearful thing, I can tell you. Lady (feclingly)—Yes, 1 can sympathize with you, poor boy. I feel just that way myself when I’m on top of a stepladder.— Tiger. True—If it were not for the rules of convention, think of all the pleasure she and you would miss when you slyly break them.—Minnehaha. Page Pasteur—Mrs. Nouveau Riche— Willie, I don’t want to sce you play with the Slingsby-Smythe’s dog again. Willie Ditto—Why not ? Mrs. N. R.—The do say, and there’s no te another fit of them.—Chaparral. Doesn’t Often Happen—“Do yo think a girl believes when you tell her se is the first?” . “Tf you're the first liar she has ever met. —Record. They Don’t Speak Now—Tish—Ant believe me, she’s some girl. Tush—Clever? . Tish—Oh, very! She’s got brains enough for two. jor tw Why dot It’s Called a Faux Pas—He—Will yo go to the dance with me? . ; She—I'm sorry, I can’t. But I'll introdet you toa very,handsome and clever girl you can take. fo He—I don’t want a handsome and devet girl; I want you.—Tiger. Clever Landlady—“What did sot landlady say when she saw the remains your tamale feast on the center table. “*Oh, shucks!’”—Longhorn.