Judge — September 23, 1916 — page 27: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“int kiss me more than once, dear, pecause there is somebody coming.—Burr. 4 Voicee—Mary! what are you doing out > ea J’m looking at the moon, mother! Voice—Well! tell the moon to go home, and come in off that porch. It’s half-past deven!—Punch Bowl. tural Assumption—/rate , Father— Keep still, Willie, can’t you sce I’m trying totum the motor over? . Willie—What for, Dad? Are you going to spank in?—Widow. Mexican Journalism The newspaper editor swore As he threw down his pen on the floor, “My paper is full Of this Mexican bull,— I'ma good editoreador.”—Minnehaha. A Good Method—Novice—What’s the best way to learn golf? 04 Timer—Take a couple dozen balls, a sheelbarrow load of sod and forget that you ever went to church.—Orange Peel. ¢ stude that sings about the fdlow that has to listen to him?—Froth. That’s Something—‘ Did Conan Doyle recive a royalty for his | ry work?” No, the best he could get was a knight- tood.”—Harvard Lampoon. The Visitor—Hark! some one is playing a ightful bit of Wagner! The Host—Oh! that’s the janitor putting cal on the fire!—Punch Bowl. Hard Luck—Battery A—I hear we are ming to carry our pistols in our belts. Battery B—Just my luck. I wear sus- penders.—Sun-Dial. Some Treat He kissed her rawther suddenly, Surprising he But strange to say, s Just said, “That's one on me.” —Chaparral. A New Wrinkle—Afrs. McCarthy— Don't you stay in the room when your caughter has company, any more? Mrs. Murphy—No. I’m trying the honor system.—Gargoyle, Diana (out of step)—Isn’t the time of this music awful? _ Apollo (archly)—Have you ever heard the beat of it? Lampoon. . Exceptional — Axe! —The quiz-master koows what he’s talking about. Hub—Why shouldn't he? He read the asgnment.—Punch Bowl. No Doubt —Smith—Does your son grad- tate this June: . Jones—I_ guess so. He wrote he was isle for football next fall.—Orange rr A Rerbet is made tasty : mhenTemade tasty and delightful by using Abbot's ‘of bitters by 2 tam 3 ‘eet & Co,"Baltimore, Md. nT OC IB SAMS. Letters of a 7 | Letters No matter what other places you have_planned to visit this winter see Florida first. Make your plans early, thus insuring choice of accommodations. It will pay you to write now and see for praeha how comfortably and inexpensively you can g on low round trp fares from New ork to Jacksonville, St. Augustine Miami, Palm Beach,Tampa, Key West, St. Petersburg AND ALL OTHER Florida Resorts, Charleston and the Carolinas Clyde-Mallory steamers offer the ideal route—delicious cuisine, ae social halls, latest magazines, road decks, comfortable staterooms, some with con- necting private bath, REMEMBER meals and sleeping accommodations aboard ship are included in the fare without ad- ditional cost. Fall and Winter bookings now open Write forinformation and beautiful descriptive literature CLYDE-MALLORY LINES Pier 36, North River, New York DISTRICT PASSENCER OFFICES Boston Philadelphia New York 192 Washington St. 701 Chestast St. 290 Broadway MAURICE SWITZER'S of a Self-Made Failure With 14 brilliant pen-drawings by Frank Godwin “LETTERS OF A SELF-MADE FAILURE ” ran serially for ten weeks SELF-MADE c's, and were quoted by more than 200 publications. If you sit in “the driver's seat” or merely plod along beside the wagon, whether you are a success or think yourself a failure, you will find this book full of hope, belp and the right kind of inspiration. . If you believe that it is more important to know why ten thousand fail + ’ > 1 rather than why one man succeeds, read this book. The LETTERS are written FAILURE (| _ in epigrammatic style with a touch of irresistible humor, and they impart a sys- station. By Maurice Switzer tem of quaint philosophy that will appeal to everyone, regardless of age, sex or Price, $1.00 i Leslie-Judge Co., 225 Fifth Ave., New York City comicbooks.com