Judge, 1916-09-02 · page 20 of 28
Judge — September 2, 1916 — page 20: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertising** for resorts and instructional books, but the right column contains a substantial satirical article. "A Neighborly Service" mocks the excessive demands working-class wives place on their husbands' limited free time. The piece uses a comedic telephone conversation to show how Mrs. Higginsby and her neighbors exploit Mr. Higginsby's commute into the city, each calling to ask him to run errands—a pound of sugar, dried cherries, packages from stores—on his way to the train. The satire targets the **selfishness of modern suburban life**: women treat neighboring husbands as personal errand boys, justified by appeals to friendship and neighborliness. The repetition of similar requests and the characters' obliviousness to imposing on his time underscores how normalized this exploitation has become. The humor lies in how politely these demands are framed ("So kind of you!") while being entirely unreasonable, and how the "service" is expected as neighborly obligation rather than recognized as burdensome.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
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ZIM BOOK 9-2 Brunswick Building, 225 Fifth Ave., New York City eeu = | husband isn’t going in to-<d | your train whistling! You'll have to hurry awfully for it! Remember st | are so stupid when it comes to doing A NEIGHBORLY SERVICE The Higginsby Dining-Room in Lonelydale. The Telephone and Mrs. Higginsby Responds: “Oh, is that you, M gginsby? Your voice sounds so faint and far away, Is Mp Higginsby there? He is? I was so afraid he had gone in on the 6.<0 Well, my husband is not going in to-day. He gets off from Friday may Monday all through July and August. n't that lovely? So he isn’t going in and Iam wondering if Mr. Higginsby would mind calling at Bryer and Simpsons and getting a small package they will have for me? [will ‘phone in so that he will have nothing to do but run in and get it and it will be only two blocks out of his way when he starts for the train. He'll call for it? Oh, 1am so grateful! 1 wouldn't trouble him only, as I say, my y. ‘Thanks ever so much!” a Yes? I thought so. Mrs. Ring Number Two: Irs. Higginsby? Higginsby, has your husband gone in yet? No? I am so glad! Twonder if he would do me a little neighborly service. It’s this way: My husband is going to New Jersey to spend Sunday with a brother of his ona fam so he isn’t coming out this afternoon, He is geing to get something I want and will leave it at his office and Iam wondering if Mr. Higginsby would call and bring it out. He can go right by my husband's office on his way to the train. [It would be a great favor. He will? So kind of him! I am always telling people how kind the neighbors are out here when it comes to rendering little neighborly ser 1am so grat e Ring Three: Mrs. Higginsby? You know they have given me the wrong number three times in succession! [ shall just enter a complaint if it happens again! IT want to know if your husband has gone to the city yet? No? Oh, Lam so glad! I was afraid he would go while [was trying to get you. Will you ask him if he would mind calling at Ryder and Martin’s and get me half a pound of ardied cherries and a box of marshmallows We are going to have company for dinner to-morrow and I want to make a new kind of a dessert with the cherries and marshmallows and whipped You can’t think how delicious it is, only rather rich. It cloys if you eat too much. Tell Mr. Higginsby just to have the things charged. We have an account there. So kind of him.” Mrs. Sprigginton (Waiting at her gate for Higginsby): “1 was so afraid that you weren't going in to-day. [have been watchi: J wanted you to do a little neighborly service for me if I often say that we don’t mind Will you please take ices. cream, g for you ever s seven o'clock for you don’t mind, and you never do mind. living out here because the neighbors are so kind. this little list of things I want and get them for me? There are only five of them and you can get all of them in any department. store. In fact, you can get two at one counter—just little things that will not take wp any room at all in the grip you always carry. It will save me a trip ia for I have nothing else to go fe As I say, you can get them all in one So good of you to be willing to do it Mrs. Billings (at her gate): “Oh, Mr. Higginsby! may I trouble you to do a little errand for me in the cit Mr. Billings has such a cold he is not going in to-day and I wonder if you would bring me out halfa dozen lemons and a pound of loaf sugar. You know that we can’t geta decent lemon here and I have ‘phoned to the only two stores here and 1 wouldn't trouble you but—Oh, there's store. neither of them keep loaf sugar. lemons and—a—pound—of—loaf—sugar! He'll probably forget it. Ma mn errand!” —Ellis Esans Is There Balm in Gilead For The HE GIRL who illustrates how the movie star did it. .. The apartment house vocalist who sings sentimental ditties fortissime when you are trying to fall asleep. The le pianist who is too preoccupied to strike the right notes. The bored stenog who glances over her shoulder at you when you a talking to her. The suffragist who answers your them. The matince girl who whispers feelingly that he has such kissable lips bjections before you make them Problems in Real Estate ro lever,” declared Archimedes, “and I'll move the wot 1 about moving the world, old top. How many sta “Give me a “Never mi can you carry? Before Carranza can be clected President of Mexico he’s got to out man-fashion and show us whether he wears a collar.