Judge — August 26, 1916 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Stealing Time MERICA seems to be showing more A interest in more daylight than one might reasonably expect. Un- doubtedly there is ground for believing that many of our incurable uplifters have just awakened to a realization of the fact that an ethereal substance, com- monly termed daylight, really exists. Anyway, all over the country leading dailies, chambers of commerce, business men’s clubs, and various organizations for the assured benefit of themselves and the probable betterment of others are growing frantic inventing sophistries to explain the benefits that will accrue from turning the clocks up an hour and beating ourselves out of a sixty minute snooze every morning. As is the case with all other futile things, there is much to be said in favor of the more daylight plan. It will move breakfast, luncheon, dinner and bedtime up sixty minutes. It will get us to work an hour earlier. and we shall find ourselves at the ball park and the golf links an hour before long habit. We shall have to kiss our wives somewhat earlier in the day, and we shall have to coax and cajole the kid- dies to bed with much more art and vehemence. And we, ourselves, shall «SOMEBODY have to trundle off to the Land of Nod when we ought to be starting in for a round of cabarets. All told, it looks as if we are going to slip something big over on the pendulum. But of course we shall have to wait and sce what the end of this time tampering project will be. In the face of all that is being said and written, it takes a truly brave man to be skeptical of good results. An hour more daylight looks good on paper, and it’s a sight better than tales of bloodshed and drowning. But all the same, we shall have to wait. Let us hope and pray that more day- light doesn’t tie in with some closely calibrated efficiency propaganda. If it does, we shall have to read about it for- ever and forever, Another Baw! Ohio got the Supreme Court justiceship that New York wanted. Now Christy Mathewson isin Cincinnati. You'd think he'd stick to the Umpire State. Baldheaded man (reading advertisement)—" No mat- ter hat all poss send me 4 book of your hair and I will cure you. fadame Zaza, Clairvoyant.” Sixes and Sevens W HAVE counted up the Progres- sives who are for Hughes—and those who are for Wilson—and_ those who are Middle-of-the-Roaders. What we want to know is, who counted out the Progressive party in 1912? ¢ As futile as were the efforts of old King Kanute when he tried to sweep back the inrolling billows of the ocean with a broom.— Cincinnati Commercial Tribune. King Kanute claims the waves but waives the claim. Conceding that Mrs. Partington is mother of the broom, he would add: ‘Thus far, no father!” 2 When Napoleon was graduated from St. Cyr he was too thin to serve—Louiscille Courier-Journal. Runs in the family. Napoleon III hardly made a square meal for Von Moltke. 2 What with Ethan Allen, and the Great Jehovah, and the Continental Congress, Vermont has a grand little old inheritance—and a grand little old inheritance tax, too. 2 “ Another phenomenon which we notice as we approach middle life is that we do not hate umpires half as much as we used to."—Ohio State Journal. Still another phenomenon is the — propensity of middle-aged editors to suspect themselves of ingrowing toler- ance when it’s just sheer laziness. 2 Great Britain insists on the right of search and we on the write often. 2 ‘The pending question: Is it “Wilson —that’s all,” or “Wilson, that’s all!” BSOAT. Z {a Dee comichooks.