Judge — August 26, 1916 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

DO YOURS ‘LOOK LIKE THESE? Brown-faced, vigorous, healthy youngsters—sick - ness never troubles them. Do yours look like these? Or does constipation, the chief foe to a healthy childhood, handicap them and make them the prey of the many ills that less sturdy little folk are heir to? NUJOL is particularly valuable for relieving constipation in children, as well as in grown-ups because it doesn’t upset the stomach, cause diarrhoea or form a habit. It acts as a simple internal lubricant, encouraging and facilitating the natural act- ivity of the bowels. Your druggist has NUJOL. Avoid substitutes and imitations. Sold in pint bottles only. Dept. 13 STANDARD OIL COMPANY (New Jersey) Bayonne New Jersey Send for booklet,“THE RATIONAL TREATME:! name and address Name.....-.---------.. Address... he had, explaining to the robber that he should certainly be allowed 2% on the cash transaction. A southern subscriber, who, by the way, is a Jew, if names mean anything, sends the following: “The Royal Palm, a train running out of Palm Beach, Florida, was boarded by robbers, who ordered the passengers to line up on each side of the aisle of the coach with their hands held high over their heads. The robbers then passed down the aisles, taking the money, watches, jewelry, etc., from the passengers. There were two Jews lined up side by side, and when it came their turn to be searched Ikey looked up in the robber’s face and said: ‘Mister Robber, vill you do me von favor?’ ‘Yes,’ said the rob- ber, ‘but be quick. What is it?’ “*May I put my hand in my pocket?’ asked Ikey. ‘Yes,’ said the 6 robber, ‘but no monkey business; I’ve got my gun on you.’ Ikey thereupon put his hand in his pocket and pulled out a roll of bills, and taking off two twenties and a ten, turned to Jakey who stood trembling at his side, with the remark,‘ Jakey, here iss dot fifty dollars I borrowed from you yesterday. ?”— Wall Street Journal. The First Lady Barber—Samson snored peacefully in the chair while Delilah snipped at his locks. “Do you want it cut round or square on the neck?” she asked. No answer. “Would you like a sea-foam or shampoo?” No reply. “Hair is getting a trifle thin on top. Would you like a little tonic?” Silence. “Have your whiskers trimmed?” More silence. Next!” Whereupon Samson climbed out of the chair, gazed into a mirror, then rushed into the street and pulled down a temple.—/ndiana polis Star. An Expert, Indeed—A strange man had been sent to polish the floors. His manner was anything but energetic, and the lady feared that he would not polish them properly. j “ Are you quite sure that you understand the work?” she inquired. His indignation was tremendous. “You know Col. B.’s folks, next door but one?” he said. “Well, I refer you to them. On the polished floor of their dining-room five persons broke their legs last winter and a lady slipped clear down the grand staircase. I polished all their floors!” —Pittsburg Chronicle Telegraph. A Woman’s Way—Cornelius Vanderbilt said, in a recent argument on preparedness: “They who would rely ona voluntary militia, instead of on a conscript army, know as little about real preparedness as a woman about tobacco. y,’ said she, ‘it’s all nonsense to say a woman can’t buy her hus- s for me, I never have the least difficulty.” “*No? What's your system?’ she was asked. i “*T just take along a sample stump,’ she said, ‘and there’s never the least trouble about matching the shade!’”—Washington Star. Sallie (at breakfast)—Could I have a little money for shopping to-day, dear? Willie—Certainly. Would you rather have an old five-dollar bill or a new one? Sallie—A new one, of course. | Willie—Well, here’s the one—and I’m four dollars to the good.—The Roller Monthly. What They Learned—A visitor to a Sunday school was asked to ad- dress a few remarks to the children. He took the familiar theme of the children who mocked Elisha on his journey to Bethel—how the young ones taunted the prophet, and how they were punished when two she bears came out of the wood and ate forty- -and-two of them. “And now, children,” said he, “what does this story show?” “Please, sir,” came from a little girl in the front row, “it shows how many children two she bears can hold!" —Tit-Bits. The Obvious Place—What is known in a certain town as Shop Carnival” was being held. and little gitls represented the various shops. One dressed a white muslin frock gaily strung with garlands of bonbons advertised the local sweet shop. When the festival began she fairly glistened with attractive confection- ery, but as time wore on her decorations grew less. Finally, at the end of the last act, not a | bonbon was to be seen. “Why, Dora,” cried the stage manager, “where in the world are all your decorations? Have you lost them?” “Oh, no,” replied Dora; “they’re perfectly safe. I’m wearing them inside."”"—Tit-Bits. comliclbooks.