Judge — August 19, 1916 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

said a million times, ‘I wish I could stop smoking them Habano- ras.’ They’re_ expensive and don’t do no good. But did you done it? Now, you are sitting in the office, full with smoke like by a lodge mecting, and my neck is so dry like a presi- dent from a chevra when he is keep- ing order by an election. All from your smoke. If you got such a big will, why don’t you stop it?” “Why don’t I stop?” angrily repeated Markowitz. “I'll tell it to you in two woids, ‘because I don’t want t What do you think I am—a lemech?—a yiddina like you? You come around speaking to me like in a choich—don’t’smoke—don’t drink—don’t play pinocle! You know why I do them things? Because I want to! But any time I want to stop, I can do it.” “Tell it to Jennie, the finisher, and not to me,” maintained Henry sarcastically. ‘You want to stop alleright, but you can’t do it!) Why——” “Henry,” angrily shouted Markowitz, Any time I want to stop smoking I can do it! “Nonsense! bluff! humbung!” persisted Henry. “ Alleright, I'll show you!” responded Markowitz, emphatic- ally. ‘I bet you five dollars cash, a hundred cents on the dollar, that I can stop smoking for a whole week and not say a woid.” “It's a bet,” retorted Henr: firming the wager with a handshake; “remember, no smoking till next Monday. Markowitz then left the office and went into the factory, ceasing the discussion with Henry for that day. The following day he appeared more irritable than usual, with his jaws working continuously on a piece of chewing gum. On Wednesday morning he showed up at the office with a cigar in his hand, and was immediately reprimanded by Henr: “Max,” said Henry you are beginning to smoke again? It ain't Monday yet. Who's smoking? Can’t I hold a cigar in my hand like you are holding a pencil? Your pencil ain’t smoking and my cigar ain’t smoking.” é agreed Henry, “hold the cigar, but remember, don’t light or it'll cost you a five spot.” The following day Markowitz apy away at a big black cigar, and with a big pac under his arm. Upon seeing him, Henry jumped up with delight, stretched out his hand, and exclaimed, “Hurry up, Max, five dollars cash!” “Alleright, here is the fi a five dollar bill to the money with avidity. will power?” i tell you again, ed as usual, puffing dollars,” said Markowitz, handing stonished Henry, who grabbed the got my money, but where is your “Will power!” repeated Markowitz. “Sure I got will power. I passed by the Defendent Ci Stores and what do you think? They were selling the ten cent straight Ha- banoras, three for a quarter. So I bought three hundred cigars and made five dollars. So why should I lose the pleasure from smoking when I could make the five dollars by buying a lot of cigars and pay the bet? Now, I can smoke and it costs me nothing.” “But Max,” maintained Henry, “what becomes from your will power about stopping smoking? You said you could do anything you want!” “Nu, didn’t I want to smoke and not lose the fiver?” retorted Markowitz with a twinkle in his eye. should a girl take her escort’s an honorably return it. “Angeline” writes to ask: arm?” Why, Mechanic—I've gone over that car o° Smith's pretty careful, but I can’t find nothin’ the matter with it. Garage Owner—Ye can't, ch? What do ye s’pose I hired ye for?