Judge, 1916-08-19 · page 7 of 28
Judge — August 19, 1916 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two separate pieces of humor from Judge magazine, likely from around 1916 based on the "Follies of 1916" reference. **Top cartoon:** Soldiers in a WWI trench discuss going fishing—a escapist fantasy during wartime. **Main story:** "Markowitz and Henry Discuss Will Power and Smoking" is a comedic dialogue between two Jewish immigrant characters (identifiable by their Yiddish-inflected English and names). Henry complains he can't get what he wants—specifically a romantic relationship—while Max counters that Henry lacks willpower, using his own success as evidence. Max boasts of controlling his desires and achieving his goals (marrying Henry's sister, becoming a manufacturer), yet Max admits he *can't* stop smoking despite knowing it's harmful—undermining his entire argument about willpower. The satire mocks masculine self-delusion and the gap between what men claim about self-control and their actual behavior. The ethnic dialect humor was standard for the era's mainstream magazines.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“Plenty o° worms, Bill. All we need is fishing tackle an’ a trout stream, an’ a couple o’ days’ leave!” MARKOWITZ AND HENRY DISCUSS WILL POWER AND SMOKING By LOU RAB KNOW what I want, but I can’t get it!” complained say yourself is no good? Why do you play pinocle so late Henry Shapiro, the bookkeeper, to Max Markowitz, his till the milkman? Why do you take so many schnapslich boss and brother-in-law. before and after lunch?) Why do you smoke them ten cents “You don’t mean ‘it,’ you mean ‘her,’ suggested Marko- straight Habanoras when you're so noivous? Your doctor witz with a smile, puffing at a big, black cigar. himself told you, ‘stop smoking’ a hundred times. Minnie “Nu, let it be her!” affirmed Henry, ges- said a thousand times with tears in her eyes, on account of you ticulating with both hands. “Even if I risk and the smoke, ‘please, Max stop smoking.’ And you yourself my life, so easy like it was a remnant, and go canocing with Miss Goldman, I have so much luck, like a player what buys a fourth stack by poker. I was peddling the canoe with her like an expoit, and was so happy like a buyer from El Reno, Oklahoma, by a Broadway Cabaret, when 1 toined around to look back, and pretty near I was in the water with Miss Goldman. She got mad. She didn’t let me ped- dle no more, and had a look on her face like if she met a com- petitor what was cutting prices. I bet you she'll cut me, too. Such maze! T have! Oi, Max, I know what I want, but , “Stop complaining like a little baby, and schmuesing like an old woman!” interrupted Markowitz with a gesture of dis gust. ‘What do you mean you know what you want and can't get it? Are you a man or a mollycoddle? Be a regelar man and you'll get what you want, like me! I wanted your sister Min and I got her for a wife, till a hundred and twenty years. T wanted to be a big manufacturer and Gott cu dank Pm not a lemen in the skoit business. What I make up my mind todo, Edo and TI get!” af . Is the bathing here any good? “But you if got such a strong mind like a Samson, why do Friend—Great! The entire chorus of the “Follies of 1916" is you always do the things what is no good for you and what you staying at this place. comicbooks.com