Judge — July 29, 1916 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Washington, I read in the ‘Tageblatt’ they got a whole lot peo- ple in a bureau what's trying hard to get the best of the hot and the cold, snow and the rain, the wind and the sun. But the weather pays no attention to them and does what it pleases—like a janitor. Wa: ington gives out orders a couple of days ahead so as to give the weather plenty time for filling and shipping a cou- ple of clouds ora baby sturem. But the orders always get mixed, like last week; the weather bureau said ‘Rain,’ and there was sunshine in every umbreller store, but just for spite the weather itself laughed at Washington and toined out a beauty day. A poifect thirty-six. But when Washington makes a statement that it is going to be fair and clear it’s so reliable like the statement from Davenport and Gross, three months before they went mechula and settled for eight cents. So what's the use in kicking?” “You talk so like a philosopher but always act like a fire- cracker,” replied Henry sarcastically. “Only last night when Louis Marcus played diamonds under you, when you should have played hearts steady and draw off all of Grossman's trumps, you hollered and made a fummel like somebody was taking away your credit and your life.” ‘ou make a sample about pinocle that fits like a second- hand suit on a sailor,” maintained Markowitz bitterly. “We talk about the /itz and you mixin with cards. What's the weather got to do with pinocle? Excited I get with Marcus! Who wouldn't get excited? Two and a half in the kitty—ten cents fifty—shippe double. Grossman had to make one hundred and sixty on cards and I had a full line of trumps against him. But that /emech Marcus, my partner, that schlemiel, that esel- kopf, that——” “Keep cool!” broke in Henry, smiling. don’t get excited!” “Keep cool yourself!” shouted Markowitz. play again with such a dumpkopf.” “Sh—sh—not so loud,” cautioned Henry. “Don’t forget there's a lady in the next room; our new stenographer; don't talk like that.” “You tell me what to talk!” cried Markowitz at the top of his lungs, banging the table with his fist. ‘‘A fine time it is! A bookkeeper tells his boss what to talk! and if I want to speak “Take it casy, “Tl never “No more Wall Street kings for mine! After holding hands for two hours by the moonlight sea, he proposed—that | buy some stock in his company for getting phosphate out of seaweed! ” “Oh, Adolphus, love! how perfectly charming! If your dear de- parted mother could only see you now!” my mind who's going to stop me? Right away I'll have to ask your permission when to open my mouth and when to shut up. Maybe I'll have to raise my hand and ask by you like in school by a teacher! “No, no, a thousand times no,” continued Markowitz gesticulating vehemently and rushing up and down the room, “this is my place and my business and anybody what don’t like it can look for another place and for another business! You also, Henry! You can go right now! Araus! I'll show you who is boss!”” “Alleright,” said Henry calmly, putting down his pen, “T'll go. I wouldn’t stand to be insulted even if you are my brother-in-law. I'll go right away and tell Minnie that her husband got crazy with the hits.” At the mention of Minnie the color of Markowitz changed from a deep red to an extreme pallor. He grabbed Henry's hand and mumbling, “I didn’t mean it—I just got excited. It’s the hits, Henry, it’s the hitz——” “Alleright, I'll stay,” said Henry with a smile of satisfac- ion, “but don’t forget to keep cool, Max.” A Hopeless Case df AM as sane as any of you!” declared the man who was being examined for bats in his cupola. “I can conduc business transaction as satisfactorily as you can. Why, terday, I sold my motor-car to pay off the mortgage on my home, and——" “Crazy as a bed quilt!” cried the gentlemen of the jury, in one voice. Unsettled “If you marry my daughter where will you I “Well, sir, I don’t feel that I am well enough acquainted with you yet to offer my advice.” comicbooks.