Judge, 1916-07-22 · page 6 of 28
Judge — July 22, 1916 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page combines satirical commentary on women's education with humorous short pieces typical of 1920s magazines. **"Respectability a Handicap"** critiques a Vassar College commencement speech that reversed the traditional "Be Good, Sweet Maid" advice, suggesting respectability is now a handicap. The author debates whether Victorian propriety genuinely limits modern women's opportunities, while expressing ambivalence about whether graduates should take such advice literally. **The cartoon** depicts a woman driving with a man—illustrating modern dating freedoms that would have shocked previous generations. The remaining items are brief humor: - **"A Cry of Distress"**: Sentimental poem subverted—the "distressed" voice is merely melting ice left by the iceman - **"Prejudiced"**: Woman juror admits she won't fairly judge a wife who killed her husband because "men are too scarce" - Other quips mock superficial intellectualism and modern social pretensions The page reflects post-WWI attitudes about women's changing roles, combining anxiety about lost tradition with acknowledgment that social norms were genuinely shifting.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
RESPECTABILITY A HANDICAP FROM all the platitudes that might have been delivered in the course of a baccalaureate sermon at a Girls’ Col- lege, only one was expressed at the Vassar commencement, and that one was reversed. The speaker of the occasion didn’t allude to the \ graduates as Standing with Reluctant Feet Where the Brook and River Meet. He didn’t tell them that Homemaking was the Greatest Career of All. He didn’t even wax humorous and allude to Pearls before Swine in re their com- ing departure into the cold, cold world; but he did say “Be Good, Sweet Maid, and let who will be Clever”—only he said it backwards! “To be perfectly respectable is a great handicap nowadays” —I quote from the address. Well, maybe it is. If to be re- spectable means to adopt Puritanical nd never, never do anything which the consciences of your neighbors would dis- approve of, and be generally held up as a model, then there is something in the twisted quotation. Victoria was a great Qucen, but the architecture and morals of her period are ter- rible handicaps to her immortality. And I suppose that it was this Victorian respectability that ‘ing arraigned to the Vassar gradu- But isn’t there danger that the girls may take the advice too seriously? And yet—somewhcre in the back rooms of my cosmos lurks a sneaking hope that they will. —F.G.H. vas bei A Cry of Distress prey ope thy door and take me in! The dews course down my checks like rain. To spurn me were a grievous sin. I perish here in thy disdain. My heart is cold, my breast is chill; I shrink to naught. Ah, hither fy! Alas, my end is near, and still Thou wilt not listen to my cry. Ah me, this heat upon my brow! This melting heat! I waste away; An hour or more I’ve lain here now, Ah, hear my plea and open, pray! I shall have perished in a tric Then haste if thou would’st see me more, For I’m that fifty pounds of ice The iceman left outside the door. —Walter G. Doty. Too True “Pop, what do we mean by economy?” “Spending money in such a way as not to get any fun out of it, my son.” Minerea—Why, Miranda—Don't PREJUDICED 667T°HIS defendant is charged with killing her husband,” stated the attorney. “Is there any reason why you could not give her a fair trial?” “Well,” replicd Miss Oldgirl, who wanted to be honest, “T think that men are too scarce to be wasted that way.” The Modern Appeal Jones—What a splendid library you have! How inspir- ing it must be to live surrounded by the thoughts of the world’s. greatest men! De Pyster—Er—yes—I suppose so. By the way, old man, you haven't the last issue of the Monthly Whoop, have you? I can’t wait to finish that “ Mystery of the Diamond Dishpan!” In the Night Hours Also Mrs. Carman—How do you like your new neighbors? Mr. Wheelbase—All right, except that they run their baby with a muffler cutout. Also Sailed Grace—He says he has the trimmest yacht on the lake. Jack—Well, it ought to be—it’s been trimmed enough. ou think every young girl should fit herself for marriage? if the did nobody would want to marry her.