Judge, 1916-07-22 · page 5 of 28
Judge — July 22, 1916 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three unrelated pieces typical of Judge's humor magazine format: 1. **Top cartoon**: A simple domestic comedy about a man asking to borrow garden tools from a neighbor. The humor relies on the awkwardness of the request and the neighbor's reluctant politeness—no political content. 2. **"A 'Puttering' Forty-Five Minutes"**: A humorous anecdote about mundane household tasks (puttering, laundry, cooking) that a man accomplishes on a Monday night. The joke is that minor domestic activities somehow consume significant time—relatable domestic humor with no satirical edge. 3. **"Behold!" poem and illustration**: A romantic/sentimental poem about rejecting a summer girl's romantic advances, featuring a classical male figure. This is sentimental verse rather than satire. The page contains no apparent political commentary or caricature. It's primarily lighthearted domestic and romantic humor aimed at general audiences.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“Er—I hate to bother you, old man, but I worder if you'd mind lending m of my garden tools for a few minutes?” A “Puttering” Forty-Five Minutes 66YVOU SAY, ma'am,” said the lawyer to the little, frail appearing old lady on the witness stand, “that you went to bed be- tween nine and ten o'clock on the night in question. Now will you please tell the court just what you did between nine and_nine-for- ty-five o'clock that night. A little louder than you have been speaking, if you please.” “Well, did a few little puttering things such as I usually do at that time. It was Monday night and I dampened a few things from the wash I wanted to iron next morning. Then I set my bread to rise, as I always do on Monday nights. Then I darned a hole in one o’ the socks my husband had taken off, and I laid the fire in the stove so that there would be nothing to do but to touch a match to it next morning. After that I chopped up some potato and hash for breakfast and I sewed a couple 0’ buttons on a waist o’ mine; then I wound the clock and put the cat out and after that I et an apple while I looked over our weekly paper for a few minutes with my feet in a pan o’ warm water to sort o’ take the tired out of ‘em. Then I looked out to see what the weather was likely to be the next day, and after that I went around to see that all the windows was down and the door shut. Then I heard a noise in the cellar and I took a lamp and went down there and looked around a few minutes and while I was there I straight- ened up my fruit closet a little. After that I washed out a couple o’ dishcloths and hung them on the rack to dry. I think that is about all I can remember of doing—just a few little puttering things Lalways do before I go to bed.” —J. L.H. Behold! SHOLD the dainty summer girl The sweet us summer girl, At whom the sad prudes rail; With tricky heart and eyes aflame, In garments gay that know no shame, Willing—glad to take the blame, She hits the primrose trail. I would go with thee, summer girl, Could I endure that giddy whirl; But No! My heart is frail. I could not stand thy witching smile, I'd fall before thy dashing style, I'd miss my mark a blooming mile, I'm just a poor, meck male.—I7.W’. Dee. How It Was Willis—I suppose you received the bulk of your late uncle’s fortune. Yeu were his favorite, were you not? Gillis—Only in the betting. “I did not raise my check to be a convict ” comicbooks.com