Judge — July 22, 1916 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ALTITUDE Mrs. Younghusband—It's very steep here, isn’t it? Higher even than in the Adirondacks. Mr. Younghusband—I don't know. my dear. We will be better able to judge after we see the hotel bill. THE DISCOVERY By WILLIAM SANFORD R. and Mrs. Brown could not decide where to spend their vacation. It was the proverbial two weeks. They were suburbanites. Mr. Brown was a commuter to the neighboring city. They went over the attractions of every place they had visited in past seasons, but could not arouse sufficient interest to visit any of them again. Then one Saturday Mr. Brown brought home a pocket ful of bookle ued by various railroads in which were illuminated the attractions of many vacation spots to be reached by the respective railroads. On Sunday, the day before their vacation commenced, Mr. and Mrs. Brown went heroically at their task. They read every booklet from beginning to end. When they were through they discovered that the most attractively described place ot s the town in which they lived. The beauty of the | xpounded, the delightful bathing, the wonderful fishing, the joys of canocing on the shimmering surface of the tranquil waters were cloquently described. The fine old trees were dwelt upon, the beautiful drives, the handsome residences; the quict, orderly neighborhood. The crystal spring drinking water was mentioned. Its very high percentage for purity spoken of. The perfect drainage system of the town was explained. The efficient modern lighting by gas and electricity was given its quota of space. The convenience of the trains featured. parable serv “as set forth in glowing terms. The fact that there were no mosquitoes was strongly em- phasized. Mr. and Mrs. Brown were at first fascinated, then wildly excited. They had lived in the town five yea Mr. Brown had never found the time week days to bathe in the lake, fish or go canoeing. On Sunday he read the newspapers and slept. They had not noticed the fine old trees especially because they were so near and numerous. They had never taken ad- The incom- vantage of the beautiful drives except when they used them to go out of town. The handsome residences and quiet, orderly neighborhood had not impressed them. If there had been mosquitoes they would have complained of them. As there were none they had never thought of the fact. Now, however, everything was changed. They were in the most perfect of all vacation spots described by nine rail- roads! They became frantic with joy. Clasping each other by the hand they rushed to the spacious piazza and gazed out upon the lake. The shimmering beauty of the tranquil surface thrilled them. The sight of the gliding canoes, the merry bathers, the happy fishermen, all vacationists from the city, held them spell-bound. Laughing in sheer delight at their many enchanting dis- coveries they turned and raced into the kitchen where Mr. Brown drew off two brimming glasses of the crystal pure spring water, which they drank eagerly, and followed, each, with another, declaring they had never tasted such water. They let it run with a strange delight, realizing that the drainage was perfect. They turned on the electric light, and turned it off, and lighted the gas and turned it out, rejoicing in the ab- solute perfection of the system. Again they rushed out on the piazza and seated themselves in great, easy chairs. For the first time they seemed to reatize the wondrous enjoyment of sitting on a piazza in comfort. On their vacations they had always been almost eaten alive by the mosquitoes. The whistle of a locomotive in the near vicinity caused them to remember that the train system was indeed perfect. Mr. Brown had not missed the 7:32 once in five years! They laughed again, gayly, and jumping from their seats threw their arms around cach other’s necks. Their happiness was absolute, At last they had discovered the ideal vacation spot! They resolved to remain at home and take in the attractions! iad 0 A SHORTAGE OF KNOTHOLES