Judge, 1916-07-15 · page 5 of 28
Judge — July 15, 1916 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page satirizes marital discord through Mr. and Mrs. Twitt's morning quarrel. Mr. Twitt's grooming has failed him—his razor is stuck and his appearance is shabby—putting him in a foul mood. Mrs. Twitt responds with biting sarcasm when he criticizes her, comparing his "bare amusement" unfavorably to grand literary loves like Romeo and Juliet, or even Don Quixote's devotion to Dulcinea. The joke targets both spouses: his slovenly negligence and her sharp tongue. The "millinery" reference likely alludes to women's fashion and spending, a common satirical target. The sidebar illustration of an "auto-plane" appears unrelated, possibly advertising. The satire mocks ordinary middle-class married life as mundane and contentious—a stark contrast to romantic ideals.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
IT NEVER RAINS BUT MATRIMONY Foreword: We are all of us more or less Materialist. I—Morninc. R. TWITT’S Barometer was low, on this particular morning. His razor had stuck, hung, pulled, spinched, woodled and scrag- gled Mrs. Twitt ought really to have observed that her Lord and Master was loaded for bare —we use the word advisedly—bare amen ,and noth- ing further. “Your face looks disgraceful, where you cut it,” she re- marked, in no saccharine tone. “H—m," said Mr. Twitt, dangerou: “I wish to GOOD you'd di pense with the barbaric habit you have of answering me with that ‘H—m’ of yours! It’s the most irritating thing in the United States.” “How well we do get along!” said Mr. Twitt, swallowing his coffee too hot, and getting hotter himself: “We are like birdies in their nest.” biting tone. “Not at all. Not minute. You are mis- taken, Darling of my heart. If you had the sense of a dehorned goat you could sce right-a-way that we are the fondest of Lov The feelings which Romeo and Juliet entertained for one an- other would be reckoned violent hostility as com- pared with our beautiful adoration! Don Quixote, when he thought of his Dulcinea del Toboso, was i n his inmost soul, an angry animosity, when we offer in contrast the sublime reverence I feel for you when you get to nagging!” “Oh Peace, Oh Joy. Oh Amity, Oh Concord!” said Mrs. Twitt. “Dear Heart, if you have any slight remnant of decency left. you will say that AN D “Sarcasm,” she remarked, in a calm, IT POURS-"IT'S TWINS, SIRI" MILLINERY what Dante felt toward Beatrice was a on with your sweet tempered attitude toward me." malign fury for one little n_ comparis x u THE AUTO-PLANE It makes the short cut a great deal more feasible. comicbooks.com