Judge, 1916-07-08 · page 16 of 28
Judge — July 8, 1916 — page 16: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Judge* magazine contains several short satirical pieces mocking early 20th-century American society: **"Justice"** satirizes rural jury incompetence: a backwoods juror admits the defendant has an alibi but votes guilty anyway out of personal grudge—mocking flawed judicial systems in small towns. **"At the Upper Montclair Country Club"** jokes about wealthy women's vanity: Helen notes her friend Myrtilla's golf scores worsen while she "reduces" (diets) at the same rate—implying her efforts are futile. **"He Shud Shudder"** is wordplay about a professor's grammatical annoyance with owls' cries. **"Near-Wisdom"** offers cynical observations about life's tedium and human nature. **"A Natural Mistake"** features a pun: a confused shopper mistakes a man for a "floor-walker" (department store employee), and he jokes he doesn't "walk" like a "fly." The humor relies on class observation, linguistic jokes, and gentle mockery of contemporary manners.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
AT THE Helen—Myrtilla keeps up golf, although her score is increasing every week. Justice “W SLL, I'll tell you, gents,” said Mr. Gap Johnson, who was serving on a jury at Rumpus Ridge, Ark., “I kain’t presizely see hol the prisoner could have burnt the barn on the night in ques- tion, bein’ as he ‘pears to have been in jail at Tumlinville at the time. But, as somebody has been pizonin’ my dogs, and he looks like that sort of a cuss, for ~ny part I find him guilty.” Fisherman's Luck Jones—How are they biting to-day? Green—On the neck and legs mostly. ‘IT shudder when it cries ‘To-who’ of calling out ‘To-whom.’” Wifie—I just He Shud Shudder “The owl I hate to listen to,”” UPPER MONTCLAIR COUNTRY CLUB Helena—But Myrtilla is reducing at the same rate! Sighed poor Professor Quibblegloom; Instea Something Short can't find describe my new bathing suit. Hubby abbr He She (voice 5 Then eviations? why not What They Said “ Her husband is a sporting editor.” ‘In one {—Lucky vg! Poor thing! words try to some Near-Wisdom ‘0 a small boy, life seems to be one darned don’t after another. Some folks only agree to bury the hatchet because they prefer to use the hammer. Genius is the ability to observe con- sciously what everybody observes uncon- sciously. A Natural Mistake The confused lady shopper—Beg par- don, sir, but are you a floor-walker? The muddled man shopper—Whe would I walk? Do I look like a fly? Ise