Judge, 1916-07-01 · page 13 of 28
Judge — July 1, 1916 — page 13: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a backstage comedy set in a theater dressing room during the early 20th century. The narrative concerns chorus girls preparing for a show when one performer, Myrtle, goes missing—for the third time, risking her job. The joke unfolds when Jeanette discovers in a newspaper ("sporting extra") that Myrtle has eloped with "the blond boy"—a wealthy young man identified as Reginald Percy Payne, son of the prominent Archibald Payne. The wardrobe mistress's final remark suggests social irony: despite Myrtle's humble theater work, she's married into an aristocratic family. The cartoon satirizes the common theatrical plot device of chorus girls seeking wealthy husbands as social advancement. The "battle-cruisers" reference (fast cars) hints at modern courtship customs. The title "Avenue to Wisdom" appears ironic—suggesting marriage to wealth represents the ultimate female aspiration and social lesson.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
UE Ba J. A. AN A TO WISDOM WALDRON PTT UI OMe -W-E-N-T-Y M-I-N-U-T-E was the call-boy’s warning. The movements of some of the chorus girls who had begun to undress were quickened. “Ain't he the fresh guy!” exclaimed one of a group that gossip had made dilatory. “He tried to kiss me last night Aw-w! He’s only a kid!” explained Henrietta, who was a bit mature. “Kid nothing!” was the response. “I slapped his face!” “Come, my dears, get busy!” urged the wardrobe mistress, and soon the room was in a state of unstudied physical display that would have caused a “run” and the great profit of ticket speculators if it could have been nsferred to the stage. Scenes that approximate it with the curtain up are too studied. The wardrobe mistress, according to tradition, had been a chorus girl herself, but so long ago, from appearances, that something more convincing than tradition would be required to prove it, Her latitudinal and longitudinal lines were almost equal, and her face, as frank as a fuli moon, glowed with good nature. “Where's Myrtle?” she asked of Isabella, who had chummed with the missing beauty. “Search me!” said Isabella, “I'm getting another room- mate—Molly, here.” And she kissed her new chum, ie \ “What's up?” persisted the wardrobe mistress.“ Myrtle’ll lose her job. This is the third time she’s been missing. Barthol- omew Grouch'll be furious.” Bartholomew Grouch was the pet name of the Real name Bert Grimes oe -n-u-t-e-s!”” The call-boy was conscientious cnough to put new venom into cach warning as curtain time came nearer and nearer. “Well,” said Isabel show with that blond boy in his battle-crui A joy ride, anyway!” Isabella alw “she went off last night after the LT ain't seen her since. called fast road cars battle-cruisers. “Oh! Oh! Oh! Look at this!” Jeanette. a quiet second-row girl, who was always dressed in time, had been indulging her great passion, the sporting extra, and had made a discovery. Myrtle’s marriec Who's it?” “What fellow?” were numerous queries. And yet every mother them knew it was the blond boy “Why, to Reginald Percy Payne, of course!” gloated Jeanette. “L knew something was going to happen,” said Isabella. “But she never whispered! And me her chum!” i-v-e m-i-n-u-t ame raucously from the corridor. It looks nice, my dears,” remarked the wardrobe mistress, “but Reginald Percy Payne is the son of Archibald Payne, of “The blond bo There ’s daughter of