Judge, 1916-06-24 · page 7 of 29
Judge — June 24, 1916 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three distinct humor pieces satirizing early 20th-century American life: **Main Comic:** A dialogue between Henry and Markowitz (identifiable as Jewish characters by Yiddish phrases like "schlemiel" and "pinocle") about marriage strategy. Markowitz explains how to manipulate his wife into accepting his plans by reverse psychology—pretending he wants to visit a friend, which makes her object, then "conceding" to her wishes. The satire mocks both marital gamesmanship and the stereotype of Jewish immigrant shrewdness in business dealings. **Right Column Jokes:** Three separate aphorisms and brief gags: one about husbands and wives, another mocking Jones's pretension to understand complex political questions, and a final baseball joke playing on double meanings ("stuff on the bawl"). **Top Cartoon:** Shows a young couple where the husband confesses his salary is 30% less than stated; the wife replies she'd calculated he was lying by 50%—mocking both marital deception and women's supposed financial cynicism. The humor targets marital conflict and immigrant working-class life circa 1910s.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Young husband—Darling, | have a confession to make: you before we were married! My salary is thirty per cent. less than I told Young wife—Oh, that's all right. Tom, I calculated on fifty! “And what would you do, you chochem? angrily. “Don't get so mad, but listen good!” replied Markowitz. “So soon I would get even the smallest idee that my wife wants to go to Brooklyn —before she even said a woid to me about it—I would tell her I promised a good customer in Newark that we would pay him a visit for a little pinocle. Then of course she would commence to holler a fine pleasure I'm giving her, schlepping her all over the woild, riding in rotten subways; and I would give in and tell her she’s right, that | have enough subway riding all week and a “5 interrupted Henry triumphantly. “You would make your wife go where you want anyway!” “Don’t be in such a hurry!” said Markowitz. make her go to a pinocle friend so eas “And what would a diplomat, a Bismarck like you, do?” asked Henry sarcastically, “That's where comes in experience and marriage training,” answered Markowitz proudly. “I would tell her that my pinocle friend’s wife has a brother what’s a wholesaler by hosiery and that if she would get acquainted there, she would get the finest silk stockings wholesale, “And suppose his wife ain’t got a brother that’s a wholesaler?” demanded Henry. “Did you ever mect anybody what ain't got a brother, or a something, a wholesaler? I'll take a chance; if she ain’t got a brother— a cousin; if it’s not in hosiery—it’s in cut-glass! What's the difference, as long as my wife would get something wholesale?” “Do you really buy them things for wholesale prices from them?” inquired Henry. “You're a schlemi retorted Markowitz with disgust. “You got to go yet to a training camp for business before you prepare for war and marriage. Such foolish questions you ask! I don’t talk with you no more to-day.” demanded Henry “You can’t Pa Sa: you put your hand on a s generally put it awa: The difference between a dude and a pumpkin is that the pumpkin ha: © most in it. Cynicism is Truth with the fig-leaf torn away. A busy woman is no busybody. The worst vice is ad-v thing and it isn’t there your Eliot Kays Stone. Conceited ? Knicker—Is Jones conceited ? Bocker —Well, he thinks he understands the Mexican questions and women. German and Wife money? Husband—Certainly not, if you can find it anywhere. Do you object to my having $200 a month spending BASEBALL TALK Badger—That kid is going to be a great pitcher some day! Cadger—What makes you think so? Badger—Look at the stuff he gets on the bawl! comicbooks.com