Judge — June 17, 1916 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Hale and hearty and active at three score and ten. _ Do you know such a man? success. Then ask him the secret of Without doubt he'll lay moderation as the corner stone of most successful careers. And so he drinks moderately a wonderfully mild and mellow Whiskey —Wilson—Real Wilson—That’s All! The Whiskey for which we invented the Non-Refillable Bottle FREE CLUB RECIPES—Free booklet of famous club recipes for mixed drinks. Address Wilson, 315 Fifth Ave. N.Y. That's All! Start Your Boy Right DOES YOUR BOY READ MANLY BOOKS? There is one set of books which ought to be on the library table of a bright, manly A FIGHTERS every home where boy is growing up AND BUCCAN Every healthy minded boy loves adventure stories, and these are true stories of dauntless bravery, fierce fighting and hair-breadth escapes told about the great naval heroes and adventurers who forever established Anglo-Saxon supremacy on the seas. Here are three volumes with page after page of the glorious achieve- ments of Nelson, John Paul Jones and Perry, and one volume devoted entire- ly to the Buccaneers of the Spanish Main, those terrors of the seas whose exploits fascinate readers of all ages. . There isn’t a real boy anywhere who will not be delighted beyond measure with this set of books. He will read them and re-read them, and as he lives over again the exph of the strong men who made the naval history of the years gone by, he will be stirred to emulate them in the qualities which they displayed and that always win out in the battle of life—courage, perseverance and forti- tude. : Readers of Jupce have right now the opportunity of securing this set at a special bargain, from the Brunswick Subscription Company, 418 Bruns- wick Building, New York. pany is selling out its Elizabethan edition—four volumes, totaling 1,600 This com- pages, bound in rich, green, silk-ribbed cloth, size 734 x 5 inches—at a special price of $4.00 for the entire set, delivery charges prepaid. If more convenient send $1.00 with order, and $1.00 a month for three months. The com- pany guarantees to refund money if not perfectly satisfied. (Advertise- ment.) | chickens couldn’t help se PROFITABLE MALES 66\VOU MUST have been disappointed,” said Mr. Hopp’s New Jersey cousin, “when you found you'd got nothing from that setting of prize Leghorn eggs except thirteen roosters.” “T was a little disappointed at first,” Mr. Hopp admitted, “but after the chickens started crowin’, I seen things wasn’ goin’ to be quite so bad as I'd feared. Old Mrs. Shawler, a nervous piece who lives next door to me, commenced complainin’ about the racket the roosters was raisin’. She claimed they was stoppin’ her from gettin’ a wink of sleep after four o’clock in the morn’, an’ said if I’d get rid of them she’d give me thirteen dollars, Well, thirteen dollars wasn’t no bad price for such young birds, but I didn’t tell her that. Instead, I says, * Mrs. Shawler,’ I says, ‘the mother of them crowers, by that I mean the hen that laid the eggs they come from, is one of the champion layers of the world. Now, I ain’t so foolish,’ I says, ‘as to claim my roosters is goin’ to go agin nature an’ take after their mother in the layin’ line; but if they was daughters they’d take after her, an’ it ain’t no fault of mine that they ain’t daughters. Now, if they was daugh- I continues, ‘it ain’t unreasonable to calculate they’d do a little bet- ter this year than their ma did last, this bein’ a leap year an’ Last year their ma laid three hundred and four ¢; year cach one of the daughters ought to lay at least three hundred an’ five, an’ altogether, thirteen times that, or three thousan’ nine hundred an’ sixty five, which would be a little more’n three hundred an’ thirty dozen. Now, you'll have to allow, Mrs. Shawler,’ I says, ‘that forty cents a dozen ain't none too much to figure for Leghorn eggs these times. But I ain’t goin’ to figure so high. I don’t believe in no man bein’ greedy. I’m only goin’ to figure twenty-five cents a dozen. Three hundred an’ thirty dozen at twenty- i a little more’n eighty-five dollars. Give me eighty-five dol- lars, Mrs. Shawler,’ I says, ‘an’ I'll guarantee to get rid of every blamed rooster I’ve got.’ “I'd never seen a madder woman in all my born days. She accused me of tryin’ to impose on her, an’ declared she'd let the roosters batter her ears to pieces before she'd pay my price. I didn’t say nothin’; 1 jus’ started workin’. The firs’ thing I did was to get a megaphone an’ put its little end near the roosts, an’ the big end over a hole I cut in the side of the coop next to Mrs. Shawler’s. Then I had an electric light put-where the in’ it, an’ had it connected so I could turn it on from my bed. When these things was ready, I sets my alarm clock at two, an’ when it woke me in the mornin’, I switched on the light an’ the crowin’ begun. My plan worked all righ’. Before breakfas’, I seen Mrs. Shawler, with a towel tied around her ears, shuttin’ her doors an’ win- dows, an’ stuffin’ all the cracks with cotton battin’. I didn’t like to see the woman so determined like; but there wasn’t no use for my worryin’, for the very next mornin’ a hot spell come on, an’ Mrs. Shawler, who always was a fresh-air crank, couldn’t stand bein’ shet up any longer, an’ come over with the eighty-five dollars. But I shakes my head when she offers it to me. ‘Mrs. Shawler,’ I sa ‘my price has ris’. I'll have to charge you fifty cents extra for what cach of my roosters has et’ since our last meetin’. My price now, Mrs. Shawler,’ I says, ‘is ninety-one dollars an’ fifty cents.’ “She was so plum stirred up she shook her eighty-five dollars in my face an’ swore she wouldn’t pay me a single cent, if I’d get rid of ten million Of course I hoped she'd spoke a little more’n the truth, but I anxious, an’ that night I sets my alarm to go off at In the mornin’ Mrs. Shawler come over, meck as cent I'd asked. As I puts the money into my poc- ) awler,’ I says, ‘now that you've done your part faith ly, I promise to do mine | An’ I I got rid of my roosters s than fifteen minutes; I sold them to Bill Fischer. He was glad to give me twenty dollars for the lot. But M awler wasn’t glad to hear of the deal. She was ravin’. She come over to my house with an axe an’ tried to chop her way in an’ kill me. “But, why?” said Mr. Hopp’s New Jersey cousin, wonderingly. “ You did what you had agreed to. What in the world made the woman act so unreasonably?” “She didn’t act quite so unreasonably as it appe: Hopp. “Fischer lives on the other side of her.”"—G. roosters. couldn’t help feelin’ twelve. a lamb, a 4 ” observed Mr. Gregarious “There’s plenty of ‘room at the top,” quoted the Parlor Philosopher. “Yes, but most of us prefer the companionship of our friends,” added the Mere Man. comicbooks.com