Judge — June 10, 1916 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

On Getting Married OUNG PEOPLE who expect to get mar- ried this leafy, leap-year June should stop, look, and listen before they leap. There are some things that they should con- sider very calmly. There are a thousand things about which a minute of pre-nuptial consid tion is worth a life-ti i of afterthought. Get- ting married is an awful, solemn thing; and staying married is an awful, solemn thing —when it is done right. In the first place, very few honeymoons test out more than seventy-five per cent. pure bliss. What is purported to be a fairy- like trip through the entrancing realms of romance often turns out to be a stern, in- formative experience, dull enough and to spare. Dreams of affinities and near- ities often terminate sharply in grue- some nightmares. Honeymoon principals have even been known to discover weak- nesses in one another. And their awakening al seems the more vexatious because it comes attended by the conviction that it is no more than they ought to have expected. And the post-honeymoon, love-in-a-cot- tage existence does not always pan out The turtle-dove diction that neogamists attempt is likely to prove flat, stale, and unprofitable within a fortnight. Plain liv- ing proves a cruel foe to the kind of thinking lovers are wont to do. Plain cooking and the eating of plain cooking is more severe on hearts than it is upon stomachs. The } § meat a vi A MTS Re drudgery attendant upon playing to the whims of one person seven days in the week is particularly hard to bear because it is never contemplated until it has to be faced. But no one should imagine for a moment that we believe that there ought to be fewer marriages than usual this June. Mar- riages should be saner and more temperate, that’s all. Everybody who gets married should look for considerably less than he or she expects to find. And everybody who takes somebody else for better or worse should prepare for the worse. THE BARN SWALLOW Habitat, United States. Usually found in dry counties or states. 5 aja) Lip Re S SE a A L 5 Sixes and Sevens UR TROOPS in Mexico are concentrat- ing at their bases. Symptomatic and seasonable—play ball! Still, it does sound a bit frivolous as the old lady thought when the firemen tarried to ‘play on the flames.” ¢ Neutrality or no neutrality, some of our congressmen will strain a point to favor the United States. ¢ Venizelos calls King Constantine the “ King of the Hellenes,” in a tone of voice which gives him more of the first than of the third syllable of the last word. 2 “Next year,” says Miss Alice Hazard, the Kansas City astrologer, “Uranus will be in conjunction with Aquarius, and this fact is to be reckoned with.” Uranus and Aquarius? They're not a circumstance to Venus and Mars—the stars that fight for the alimony—though sometimes it’s not the stars but the chorus girls. New Thaw't! * If the baby is pretty, tell the mother that it is the very image of her. If it looks like some- thing the cat dragged in, intimate that it takes strongly after the old man.—Columbia State We can see where bachelor editorship is due to sustain a severe loss—when the mother is told that her baby looks like some thing the cat dragged in. e Carranza is about to change the dis- position of his military forces, but he won't swap it for the sunny temper of Uncle Sam's soldier boys—not with our consent. comicbooks.com