Judge — June 10, 1916 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Passing the Mustard Gasoline I've had a mind to write a song Of praise to gasoline, To laud its worth throughout the earth, How useful it has been! But oh, I should have sung my song At that departed time When joy was high, and I could buy \ gallon for a dime. Jd have sung its praises then Sincerely, had I tried, Its labors fine in many a line T could have glorified. I should have hailed that precious stuff In deathless verse and rhyme When I could get (oh, vain regret!) \ gallon for a dime. Were I to sing of gasoline, Considering its rate, I fear to-day my epic lay Would be a song of hate. At nineteen cents I find no thrill Zestatic or sublime, ] I've just one thought, 'tis once I bought allon for a dime. Edgar A. Guest, in Detroit Free Press. Difficult Role The umpire never gets applause, Bat has to watch lest others start \ fight upon him—all because He strives to play a neutral part —Washington Star. No Mere Theorist—"As I understand it, you lecture on the subject of peace at any price.” “No. My rates are $200 a lecture.” Louisville Courier-Journal. Quite—* Mrs. Chatter seems to be quite a conversationalist.” : “Yes, She has three cars to brag about and six servants to complain of.’’—Boston Globe. | Bobby’s Prayer—‘‘When I said my prayers last night didn’t you hear me ask God to make me a good boy?” “Yes, Bobby, I did.” “Well! He ain't done it.”—Sydney Bulletin. Sympathy—Diana sister’s going to marry h? Dick—Not much. Every time mother talks about the wedding, father says, * Poor man!” —London Opinion. s the man your > Fierce Fluids—* What made the trouble for the original inhabitants of America was. replied Mr. Chuggins, ‘‘and what ing the trouble for the modern inhabitants is gasoline.” —IWashington Star. Growing Up—* Your daughter is getting to be quite a big girl, isn’t she?” Purveyed to the Household of the Khedive. Cairo, Egypt ( Prese Americans who have smoked our ‘abroa Slates — because to. ‘iflads (Val feo-ahedis) Cigarett 1 paiy noes obhaan then aad & Myers Tobacco Company. who import themswve have also ven the sole right to manufacture th From our Caird formula: = Tieodoro Vafiadis 6 Ca (CALCUTTA BOMBAY: LONDON RANGOON CARO. Fie pl pet Wi Rudh ArchacSNewabik Capen Letterso “Letters of a SELF-MADE FAILURE & Ry Mawrice Seltzer “Yes; she’s big enough now to wear short Ff dresses." —Topeka Journal. & Hard Luck Indeed—A young man 3 in Chicago had lost his aunt. He seemed so c “J QREAT BEAR SPRING WATER “Its parity has made it famous coc the case al six glass stoppered bottles, (ADVT.) LESLIE-JUDGE CO. fa Self-Made Failure By MAURICE SWITZER With 14 brilliant pen-drawings by Frank Godwin The TTERS OF A SEL URE” ran serially for ten weeks in Leslie’ were quoted by more than 200 publications. If you sit in “the driver's seat” or merely plod along beside the wagon, whether you are a success or think yourself a failure, you will find this book full of hope, help and the right kind of inspiration. If you believe that it is more important to know why ten thousand fail rather than why one man succeeds, read this book. The LETTERS are written in epigrammatic style with a touch of irresistible humor, and they impart a system of | quaint philosophy that will appeal to everyone, c =] regardless of age, sex or station. Price, $1.00 225 Fifth Avende, New York City comicbooks.com