Judge — June 3, 1916 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Stories with Smiles What a Pity!—High on the roof of the four-wheeler was piled a most miscellancous collection of luggage. Savagely the cabman had toiled at his task, but it was ended at last. Then a jaded little woman came out of the house and eyed her cherished belong- ings for a moment before entering the vehicle. “Sure you’ve got everything, ma’am?” asked the cabby — with sarcastic polite ness. ”” was the reply. bman glanced back at the house as he remarked: “Seems a_ pity, don’t it, to leave the doorstep?” —Liver pool Mercury. Located—A Chicago man tells of calling on a young lady very early one spring morning. He had come in his big automo- bile and he wanted to give the young lady a morning spin through the country. A little girl, the young lady’s niece, answered the bell. “Ts your auntie in?” asked the man. es, sir. That's good. Where is she?” “She's up-stairs,”” said the little girl, her nightie, looking over the banisters. Harper's Magazine. Zones and Genders—While inspecting examination papers recently a teacher found various humorous answers to questions. A ass of boy: agi ars of age, had The previous the geographical questions was the follow- in Name the zones.” One promising youth, who had mixed the two subjects, wrote: ‘There are two zones, masculine and feminine. The masculine is either temperate or intemperate; — the feminine is either torrid or frigid!” Harper's Magazine. Not Her Money—The woman slipped a dime into the glove of her left hand. She would be at the subway in a moment and the dime so placed would fa the pavement reached her ears. She saw a dime rolling at her feet. A fat man, subway bound, also heard and saw it. Both stooped to pick it up. She was first. the sid 4 “T beg your pardon,” he said, as he straightened up. rather red in the Not at all,” she said courtesy.” Then she hurried down ed in the train her gloved hand involuntarily went to her hair. A dime dropped into her lap. Then she understood. -Youth's Companion. The Sea-Going Jitney—The following street-car story has been recently circulated: In Los Angeles an electric car met a jitney bus with disastrous results, and among the passengers who were called upon to t testimony was a “jackie” from the monitor Cheyenne. His letter to the claim agent follows: “T was standing on the starboard fore- castle of the car when the gasoline cutter A Good Complexion Comes from Inside F your general health is good you won’t have to worry much about your complexion. Freedom from constipation brings with it an abundance of vitality which shows itself in your face, in your figure in your spirits. A safe and effective means of relieving constipa- tion is the use of Nujol as an internal lubricant. Unlike the ordinary laxative and cathartic rem- edies, Nujol does not upset the digestive processes or tend to form a habit. Its action is purely mechanical. By oiling the mucous lining of the intestines and preventing the contents from becoming hard, it facilitates the normal processes of evacuation. Nujol is colorless, odorless and tasteless. As it is not absorbed by the system it may be taken in any quantity without harm. Most druggists carry Nujol, which is sold only in pint bottles packed in cartons bearing the Nujol trademark. If your druggist does not carry Nujol, cept no substitute. We will send a pint bottle prepaid to any point in the United States on receipt of 75 cents—money order or stamps. Write for booklet, ‘‘The Rational Treat- ment of Constipation.” —Address Dept. 13. STANDARD OIL COMPANY (New Jersey) Bayonne . New Jersey Nujol REC US PAT OFF WANTED AN IDEA! Get Your Patent Patent Attorneys, "! ME HENRY LINDENMEYR & SONS WHO CAN THINK OF SO PAPER WAREHOUSE nt. Protect your ideas, they may bring Nos. 32, 34 and 36 Bleecker Street “Needed Inventions" and. “Flow, to Branch Warehouses: ‘our Money.” Randolph & 20 Beekman Street, New V 2 Clinton Street, Newark, N.J 43% ‘ashington. D. C. ALL KINDS OF PA MADE TO ORDEK " AVOID THIS AD! ©) 1 cents in stamps for full in- (pe formation. ZIM'S Corres- 4 it Y FURNITURE pondence School of Cartooning, Comic Art. comicbooks.com