Judge — June 3, 1916 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

lot y in oon Z to am- card for day | of sing Lite, for an, cen ily the The Decadence of Prophecy A New York fashion buyer who has just returned from Paris declares that next season‘s hats will be ‘either large ones or little bits of affairs,—News Item. HE AGE of rash prediction Is passing from the earth Of words without restrictions There’s a dearth. When steamboats were invented, The people said as one: “Oh, Fulton! He's demented! That won't run When biplanes started flying, The world haw-hawed at Wright: “The poor man may be trying, But—Good Night!” When War was in the offing These many months A million men were sco! ing: “War? Oh, no!” So maybe that's the reason Why folk who talk at all ict large hats next season— Nor does it seem surprising That brokers talk such slop As: “Stocks, unless they're rising, Ought to drop!” The task of Future-plumbing Grows harder day by day, And what will be forthcoming None can say. One thing we know worth knowing, Anent our gay career: Our bills will keep on growing All next year!—K. L. Roberts A Satisfactory Substitute a H’M!—feller citizens Wesley Prodd, rising rus in his place in the midst of the gathering in Gashwiler’s Hall. “We are assembled tonight to talk over the notion of holding an Old Home Week yur in Petunia, to which all the former residents of the community are to he bidden to come back and inveigle with us once again and circumnavigate around amongst the old familiar scenes. as it were. “While this is a pretty fp in the'ry I don't believe it would work out so dad- burned salubrious in actual practice. Some of us are blessed with kinfolks that it has been an awful struggle to shuck loose and get rid of. All of us have ned about as much money as we can spare and bought all the oil stock and swamp lands front friends of our boyhood that we have got any use for. And, as most of you know, my third wife, who was a somewhat romantic person and considerably younger than [ am, eloped off last fall with the conductor of a merry-go-round. “So, looking the matter up one side and down the other, I move, feller citizens, that instead of the function which we have been contemplating, we inaugurate a grand Stay Away Week. Er-h’m!—I thank you!” jointedly Everybody approves of party govern- ment, except the other party. made tasty and delightful by Sampte of bitters by mail, 25 eta. Abbott & Co., Baltimore, Md. 1916 The Country-wide System Forty-one Years of Telephone Progress The faint musical sound of a plucked spring was electrically carried from one room to another and recog- nized on June 2, 1875. That sound was the birth-cry of the telephone. The original instrument—the very first telephone i in the world—is shown in the picture above. From this now-historic instru- ment has been developed an art of profound importance in the world’s civilization. At this anniversary time, the Bell System looks back on forty-one years of scientific achievement and eco- nomic progress, and gives this ac- count of its stewardship: It has provided a system of com- munication adequate to public needs and sufficiently in advance of ex- isting conditions to meet all private demands or national emergencies. It has made the telephone the most economical servant of the people for social and commercial intercourse. It has organized an operating staff loyal to public interests and ideals: and by its policy of service it has won the appreciation and good will of the people. With these things in mind, the Bell System looks forward with con- fidence to a future of greater oppor- tunity and greater achievement. AMERICAN TELEPHONE AND TELEGRAPH COMPANY AND ASSOCIATED COMPANIES One System Universal Service fours M. coee Hesbeed Sh Steal Have Reowledse 2 Father Should Ha Keowledse a Father Should Impact to Ha Sea Medical Raewledee Hesband Shoald Have Kaew Young W. ibould Ha: Hest jhedge & Mather Sid ime er Daughter $2.00 pevipaid Medical Knowledge a Wile Should Hat Write for “Ocher People’s Ovleioas” and Table of Contents, PURITAN PUB. CO., 792 Perry Building, PHILA., PA Visitors to Bos! should know about the Hotel Ouritan 390 Commonwealth Ave. pear Massachusetts Ave. fubway station, four minutes to theatres and shops. The Puritan is an especially comfortable house with reasonable rates, Globe trotters call it one of the most comfortable and homelike hotels in the world. Your inquiries gladly answered. C. P. Costello, Mer. comicbooks.com