Judge, 1916-06-03 · page 11 of 28
Judge — June 3, 1916 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three distinct pieces of humor: **Top cartoon ("A Cry for Help"):** Depicts Dr. Gold, a throat specialist who gained fame by removing a fishbone from Mr. Fink's throat. The story satirizes how one lucky medical success—even a trivial one—can launch someone to celebrity and prosperity. The joke mocks both the gullibility of neighborhoods that elevate doctors based on anecdotal success and the tendency of successful professionals to reinvent themselves (Gold now claims expertise in noses and ears). The Yiddish-inflected dialogue suggests this targets immigrant communities' attitudes toward professionals. **Middle poem ("All Shakespeare's Fault"):** A humorous complaint that Shakespeare exhausted all possible literary ideas, leaving modern writers unable to express original thoughts. **Bottom section:** Brief comedic exchanges about romance and marriage, typical of Judge's light humor fare. The page exemplifies early 20th-century American satire mixing social observation with ethnic humor and romantic comedy.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
children made a ald, their doctor came around and then an ambulance but none of hem could do notting. Mr. Fink was ting woise and woise. When our Dr. Goldsaw the ambu- lance, h run into Fink’s house even if he asn't call- ed. When Mrs. Fink saw him, she commenced to cry ‘Doctor! Doctor! try to save my hi So Dr. Gold went over and put his finger in Fink’s mouth, and it happened to his luck that the fish-bone came out. Since then Dr. Gold has become a throat. speciali the whole neighborhood everybody i: ing what a great professor Dr. Gold is, how all the doctors gave up Mr. Fink's life and that Dr. Gold saved him. If you would pay a press-agent a million dol couldn't do no better than Mrs. Fink the Fink family. Dr. Gold has gone hi and higher and now is aspecialist on the nose and car also. He keeps a trained noi: his office with two telephones, in otomobile with seven passengers and cight cylinder: and L hoid yesterday that his wife is going for a vacation to Reno. So far up in the woild he gets! Oi, Henry if I could only make a doctor from Lester! If he would get good reports!" “Good reports,” repeated Henry sym- A CRY FOR HELP pathetically,‘ not everything is gold that says ‘A—A.’ You remember Hyman & Son from Toledo, what a fine report we got about them. A’s and O. by the dozen; and what was the end? You know—cight cents on the dollar. All the d’s in Lester's report may yet stand for Doctor. Who knows? “From your mouth into God’s ears,” fervently remarked Markowitz as he took his hat and coat and walked down for a stroll with Henry. All Shakespeare's Fault H, ME, had Shakespeare but been kind And left some unsaid things behind! Might he not well have stayed his hand, Nor devastated sea and land, And wimpling wave and restless aii And left a few things here and there? But, woe are you, and woe is me! He's cleaned the platter, don’t you see. No sooner I an idea find And start to munch it in my mind Than, “Not so fast ther Drop it, Pard!” T hear—and there’s that Avon bard. Would I indulge in fans rare, T straightway find that Bill’s been there, Explored the treasure store alone filched the finest for his own, g flights in dream domain, inst old Shake in; at realm of rosy sprites rare delights; airest of the yields ha Of all its mystic He's plucked the Of flowers in Elysian fields. So, if my lines be lame, or halt, It’s Shakespeare's fault—all Shakespeare's fault. I could delight ten billion ears, Could move all men to joy, or tears, Say lovely things, from Spring to Fall, If Shakespeare hadn't said it all —IV’. J. Davis. A Success She—And was Jack finally cured of flirting? He—Yes. She—How? He—Dr. Cupid performed an operation. By Easy Stages She—What led you to be a bachelor? He—Oh, first one woman and then ano LEAP YEAR comicbooks.com